How We Became Wealthy
I got asked again today.
"Tony, how did you become wealthy?"
There's probably a lot of answers to that question but the answer I gave (and nearly always do) is simply this:
To become wealthy, you have to think like a wealthy person.
Every week, I talk to dozens of people who dream of becoming wealthy. They're tired of working more hours for less money. They're tired of never seeing their family. They're tired of taking their vacation days and using it to only go visit their relatives and letting their kids play with their cousins.
And so they've called me to talk about becoming wealthy. And it's very easy for me to see which ones are going to actually succeed and which ones will continue to struggle.
I simply watch how they think.
For example, if someone is struggling to pay their bills and that is their REASON for why they're starting a business, that person will find a way to be successful. They're motivated. They're focused on a solution. They realize that -- if things are going to change -- it has to start with them. And they're committed to be successful.
On the other hand, if a person says "Oh, I can't get started in business, I'm too broke".....that person is already defeated. Because they are choosing to let their circumstances dictate what they can do. They will continue to use that situation as an excuse for why they can't be more successful. Which means that they are creating their own self-fulfilling prophecy.
I can usually call these people back in 6 months and they're no better off than they were when they first contacted me.
What's the difference?
It's how people THINK. This is what Napoleon Hill meant when he titled his book, "Think and Grow Rich".
Wealthy people think differently than broke people. They don't ask "can I?" They ask "how can I?"
One of my favorite authors, Ayn Rand, once said, "What do you mean who's going to let me? You mean, who's going to stop me!"
Back when Jessica and I chose to start our business, we were broke. We were living in a very small cinder-block house. We had no heat. I was earning less than $1,000 a month. We were two months late on our rent. Our car broke down frequently.
But we believed things could be better. We believed there was a way we could become wealthy and start living the life we deserved.
When it came to finding the money to start our business, we could have easily said, "I don't have the money." But, what would have changed? It's not like either of us had a rich uncle who was suddenly going to remember us on his deathbed. Or that our fairy godmother was going to show up and hand us lots of money just because we wished for it.
No, we did what a lot of people do: we scraped and borrowed and did whatever we had to do. We sold things we owned. Jessica took a part-time job on a short-term basis. I did odd-jobs for a friend of mine.
And when we made the decision that we were not going to let fear or other obstacles stand in our way, things started coming together in a way that we could have never planned or predicted.
So, if the question is, "How do you become wealthy?" the answer is simply, "Start thinking like a wealthy person".
Would a billionaire every say, "No, I can't do that."? No. They say, "I'm going to do that" and they find a way.
There are two kinds of people in the world: stoppable and unstoppable.
Which are you?
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Tony Rush is one of the real characters of personal development and is the co-author of the book, "It's Time....". He spends part of his free time showing others how to follow the same system he used to create wealth in less than 20 hours a week. He lives in Alabama with his wife Jessica, three sons and a dachsund named Bentley who doesn't know he's a dog. For more information on Tony Rush visit http://www.tonyrush.com
How To Develop True Self Worth and Really Win
In order to feel good about themselves, most compare themselves to others, compete and try to win in all areas of their life. They do not realize, however, that this often can be an expression of aggression towards others, and ultimately also towards themselves.
When we want to be better than others, we are also driven to make sure they remain beneath us. We do what we can to keep them in their place, and look for their failings and weaknesses. We may also take pleasure in their hardships and losses. When famous people fall from their pedestal and suffer, many feel relief that they are not so much better after all.
How We Compare Ourselves To Others
Some are not able to relate at all to others who they feel are "better than them. They fill their worlds with those who they feel are inferior, (and treat them that way, to keep them in their place.) Some are drawn to those who they think are better than them, and spend a lot of time trying to tear the person down. Others become members of sports team and take great relish in beating the others, proving that they are "best".
Living this way, one becomes unable to see the beauty and gifts which each person has and which they could otherwise share with you. This keeps you on edge, looking for ways you can maintain your superiority. Relationships become power struggles. There is little fulfillment, or true sense of self worth.
Pride Vs. Self Worth
Pride creates a grandiose, false sense of self and causes the person to close themselves off to many situations, possibilities, insights and relationships. Pride also causes them to be out of touch with true self worth, who they truly are, what really brings happiness.
A true sense of self worth, on the other hand, provides enjoyment when dealing with all kinds of individuals. With true self worth you do not need to compare yourself to others, tear them apart or feel superior. Instead, you are able to value who they are and share you both of your gifts. As Emerson wisely said, a rose in the garden does not compare itself with another. It just blooms as it is intended to.
Exercise
Step 1: Recognizing The Many Faces Of Pride: Make a list of those you feel better than. Who are they? Why are you better than them? A) Make a list of those you feel are better than you. Who are they? How does this make you feel? How do you behave with them? This exercise will surprise you. Be honest with yourself. You may also be astonished to see how many people you've written out of your life.
Step 2: Stop Comparing
A) Pick someone on your list that you feel better than. Write down all their positive qualities. Now, stop
comparing yourself to this person. Let them be who they are. Let you be who you are, as well. Enjoy the differences between you.
B) Do the same with someone you think is better than you. Can you allow both of you to have positive qualities though they may be different? Can you stop comparing in this case as well?
Step 3: A New Meeting
A) Contact the person you feel better than and go out with them to lunch. Make the meeting all about them. Don't talk much. Really find out about them. Give them a chance to be the star. Do the same with someone who feels they are better than you. You'll be amazed to discover how much others crave being heard and known, how shaky they are about who they are. As you do this you'll see that you don't have to tear others down to feel good about yourself.
Step 4: Each One Is The Best One
As soon as you notice yourself feeling better than another, let it go and let them be the star. Realize that both of you can be wonderful. As soon as you notice that you feel someone else is better than you, do the same. Look for their good qualities and yours as well. Find out more about them. Talk to them about themselves and really listen. Letm the true person they are emerge. Don't buy into a fantasy. It won't do you any good.
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Learn to resolve conflict easily and build supportive relationships in award winning The Anger Diet, (30 Days to Stress Free Living)http://www.theangerdiet.com . Top psychologist,Founder of Everyone Wins Mediation, has helped thousands.Free ezine, articles http://www.newyorkmediates.com topspeaker@yahoo.com, (212)
288-0028. http://www.newyorkmediates.com
visualize Your Goal - A Philadelphia Life Coach Tells You Why and How
The first step in any life change is to visualize what it is that you want for yourself. Before you can plan the necessary action, you need to know where you are heading. To do this you must visualize your goal.
Conceptualize Your Goal in Positive Terms
The desire to change is usually motivated by dissatisfaction with the present situation. Because of this, when it's time to identify your goals, you may think in terms of what you want to get rid of.
The problem with focusing on what you don't want is that it doesn't really help you to identify what it is that you do want. You can see what you are moving away from but you lack clear objective regarding where you want to go.
When you conceptualize your goals in positive terms you give yourself direction:
What is it that you really want?
What would feel right for you?
If you could write your own script and have things turn out exactly as you want them to, what would the outcome be?
Knowing where you want to go tells you where you are heading. Once you have clear direction, the steps you need to take will become apparent.
You Can Visualize Your Goal, Even If You Don't Know How You Will Achieve It.
You may resist visualizing your goal if you have no idea how you are going to get from here to there. It is important, however, to recognize that knowing where you want to go provides necessary direction that will inform the steps you need to take.
Once you know where you are headed, it becomes much easier to identify the steps to get there. You will become alert to possibilities you might not have noticed, were you not focused on your goal.
How To Visualize Your Goals
While thoughts about how you'd like things to be may come and go, it is valuable to set time aside to focus on your goals. This process can provide clarity, which will help you to find direction.
1. Give yourself some time when you know you will be uninterrupted.
Sit down, take a few deep breaths and allow yourself to relax. Or, if inspiration comes more easily when you are taking a walk or a run or swimming laps, use that time to imagine what it is you want for yourself. What's important is that you give yourself space and time to really focus on how you want your future to be.
2. Now, ask yourself "What is it that I really want here?"
Don't try to figure out the answer to this question. Instead, allow some time for the awareness of your goal to emerge. Be open to anything that comes to you.
3. Imagine that you have achieved your goal.
Notice how you feel with your goal accomplished. Be aware of any unexpected consequences that come to mind as you imagine your goal fulfilled.
If potential unforeseen consequences came to mind when you imagined your vision fulfilled, give yourself plenty of opportunity to address any questions raised. Be very patient with the process.
Suspend judgment for now This is a creative process, like brainstorming. Quiet any critical voice that says "You could never do that!" or "That's impossible!" Encourage yourself to dream big. Later on you will have plenty of opportunity to assess the feasibility of your vision and explore ways you can implement it.
You may need to allow a few days or even weeks for the details of your vision to take form. Be open to any additional inspiration that comes to you after you initially visualize your goal.
You can keep track of your vision as it evolves by keeping a journal in which you record the insights you receive. Taking notes will enable you to feel confident that you won't forget any of the details.
Once your goal is clear, you can explore the possibilities for achieving it. Through this process the 'how to's' will become apparent. Your initial vision may be modified in the process, but you will be moving in the right direction toward making your good life better!
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Drawing on skills and expertise developed over 30 years experience, Jeannette Samanen Ph.D. provides effective life coaching, empowering you to achieve your goals. Subscribe to her "Make Your Good Life Better" newsletter at http://www.achieveyourgoals.com .
How To Use Affirmation Properly
“I am, therefore I exist,” is a phrase affirming one’s existence as a being. It may be a simple phrase, but it says everything about the being saying them. It indicates a confidence not commonly found among other beings.
But why do people need affirmation? Why do beings need to be affirmed? Is existence relative to one’s affirmation?
Affirmation is a very powerful technique to empower one’s subconscious. Once the subconscious is disciplined to believe one’s affirmation, the latter is converted into a positive action for the conscious mind. Through affirmation, beings are empowered to do, to work, and to strive for more things. Affirmation allows people to believe in themselves and to put their thoughts into action.
Affirmation is a combination of verbal and visual techniques of a preferred state of mind of a person. Strong affirmations can be very powerful, and can be used by almost anyone to achieve his goals and fulfill his desires. However, the power of an affirmation depends on how strong or weak an affirmation is.
Affirmation is merely an assertion made by a person, about something or about a state of being. A person can affirm those that he chooses to attain, like “I now have a good life.” Being healthy in mind, body, and spirit can also be made possible through affirmation.
A strong affirmation should be stated in the present tense to be more effective. An affirmation of “I am now a happy being” is more effective than an affirmation saying, “I am going to become a happy being.” Affirmation should always be in positive terms because it is supposed to work for you and not against you. Instead of saying, “I am not sad,” why not make an affirmation saying, “I am happy.”
An affirmation should be made up of simple but concise words, and it should be short to be more effective. A very long affirmation can work the other way around, instead of creating a positive mindset for a person. A short affirmation can be easily spoken and repeated by a person. It can serve as a mantra that can be repeated over and over again.
To be effective, an affirmation must be repeated. Repetition works and influences the subconscious, which in turn motivates the person into acting out his affirmation. A person who creates the affirmation should be deeply involved with the words he will be using, so he will be able to actualize his affirmation. Writing words that one believes in can be very powerful, and this can be put to good use when creating an affirmation.
However, creating an affirmation alone and repeating them a million times would not make the affirmation a state of mind. The important thing is to live one’s affirmation and to be open-minded enough to do the things that would help the affirmation become a reality. Feeling the affirmation and applying it in one’s life will help in making the affirmation a reality.
While affirmation is generally used to make an individual better, it can also be used to boost or confirm another person’s value. By affirming another person‘s existence, you are helping him improve his self-worth.
Affirmation is a very simple thing that can make a very big difference in a person‘s life. It can be a great motivator and can make things happen.
Learning How To Overcome Self-sabotage
It's easy to forget just how powerful our subconscious minds can be. We are often completely unaware of how our actions (or inactions) are affecting our lives. We may complain that things never work out for us, we have bad luck, or we just don't have what it takes to be successful. What we fail to realize is that we are actually creating our own circumstances through subconscious self-sabotage. In order to overcome self-sabotage we first have to use conscious awareness to explore our emotions and fears, and understand how they influence our actions. Once we have determined the cause of the destructive behavior, we can then take steps to prevent it from happening in the future.
What's really happening when we sabotage ourselves? Subconsciously, we may be frightened by a particular outcome, even though we say we want it. Take, for example, losing weight. Many overweight people have struggled for years, tried diet after diet, and still can't lose the weight (or keep it off). They berate themselves, push themselves harder, and try to force the weight off. But what's happening beneath the surface? Do they really want to lose their excess pounds? They may say they do, but what if their layers of fat are providing a sense of protection and security in an uncertain world? What if they feel the need to cover up and conceal themselves? Losing weight then becomes a threatening, frightening possibility. So they might sabotage their diet efforts in order to avoid feeling too vulnerable and exposed. Even though they say they want to lose weight (and even believe they do) they still might set themselves up for failure by sneaking food, skipping exercise, and then making a promise that they'll try harder tomorrow.
Others may be intimidated by something as simple as starting a new job. Did you know that there are a surprisingly high number of people who don’t show up for job interviews, even for highly-desirable positions? Let's look at another example: Perhaps a stay-at-home-mom decides she needs to return to the workforce to earn money for her family. What she really wants is to stay home with her children, but she feels obligated to get a job outside the home. So instead of applying for the perfect position, she applies for jobs that she knows she's not qualified for, or jobs that require hours incompatible with her family's schedule so she has to turn down the job if it's offered. Subconsciously, that's her way of ensuring she won’t have to leave home, and at least she can say she "tried" to get a job.
Those who self-sabotage may also be afraid of what others will think of them should they accomplish their goals. They might not believe they're worthy of the outcome, so they act in ways that will ensure their failure.
These destructive efforts are done subconsciously, so even the saboteurs have fooled themselves into thinking they know what they want. If there is any uncertainty in their mind, any doubt, any fear, they will find a way to make sure it doesn't happen.
Perhaps this describes you? Have you sabotaged yourself in the past? Are you still doing it now? Are you not able to move forward with your goals, no matter how hard you try?
Fortunately we CAN overcome self-sabotage. The most important step to stopping self-sabotaging behavior is to recognize that it's happening. We must develop a conscious awareness of our thoughts, emotions, and actions.
If you've been struggling with a certain goal and things just don't seem to be working out for you, take a look at the setbacks that were encountered and evaluate the situation. Could any of the obstacles have been avoided by making wiser choices on your part? Are there a significantly high number of obstacles that have arisen for this one particular goal? If so, you may be self-sabotaging yourself.
A great way to get in touch with your subconscious mind is by spending time in quiet meditation. Ask yourself what you're afraid of. What fears do you have? What uncertainties? What makes you feel uncomfortable about this goal? For what reasons would you try to hold yourself back? Using a journal to write these questions and answers can help too, because writing can help you to connect with the deepest part of yourself. It might take time and practice, but exploring these possibilities can dramatically help you to get out of the self-sabotage rut.
When we finally understand that we are in control of our own success, we will be set free from all limitations! By developing clarity and insight about the outcomes we want to create, and the awareness for potential setbacks, we can stop the self-sabotage and focus our energies on working toward new goals that we will fully support in every way. We will then look back one day and see that instead of being our own worst saboteur, we have become our best supporter.
By: Wendy Betterini
Source: http://www.articledashboard.com
Wendy Betterini is a freelance writer who strives to motivate, uplift, and inspire you to make your dreams a reality. Visit her website, www.WingsForTheHeart.com for more positive thoughts to help you on your journey.
Ten Ways To Make Time For The Important Things
Making time for the important things in life is a real challenge. Have you ever ended the day with the feeling that you were as busy as you could possibly be, but didn't make any progress on the really important things? Have you been resentful of the time and energy you have to spend on meeting the demands of others? Have you ever felt out of control - that outside forces take up all your time - and you feel like a victim?
Here are ten ways you can make time for the really important things in your life.
1 - Decide what is really important to you. The 3 to 5 most important things in your life - no more than that.. This sounds so simple - and so easy. It isn't. I challenge you to sit down and write out the 3 to 5 most important things you want to accomplish in your life. Most people won't do that. It takes time and focused thought - but it is the single best investment of time you can make.
2 - Make what's important to you the foundation of your goals. Then align your goals with the requirements of those people, institutions, organizations that are important to you and can contribute to your success. This requires a shift in thought from feeling imposed on by others to seeing the requirements of others as contributing to your success. Making that mind shift can be the most liberating thing you can ever do.
3 - Adopt a "good enough" habit of thought toward the the things you must do but that are not part of your top goals. Trying to make everything the "best possible" sounds laudable - but it's a sure recipe for failure. "Best possible" and perfection can literally suck up all the time you've got, and for things that aren't really that important.
4 - Place a high value on creating structure and limiting your choices. See them as positive behaviors in your battle to preserve as much of your time as you can for the important few. Set boundaries of time, energy and money around the less important.
5 - Create a habit of thought that allows you to replace instinctive reaction with considered response. It's very easy, and lazy, to wait for an outside stimulus to create response. It's hard to sort out and choose response - but critical to your own success.
6 - Learn to say "No." There will always be demands on your time in excess of the time you have available, and while the demands of others may be good for them, they may not be good for you. Work to act only on those demands that are a win - win. Remind yourself that the price paid for having too much to do and too little time is that nothing gets done to even a "good enough" level.
7 - Make routine, predictable and structured all the "good enough" stuff. To the extent that you create routines, the focus of your thoughts and actions can be used for the important stuff. It's amazing how much real thought and planning and decision making can be accomplished while performing the routines of mowing the lawn, raking the leaves, doing the dishes....... A friend who travels a lot on business sees routines as his close friends - they keep him supplied with all his day to days, and allow him to focus on the important things. An example - he always parks his rental car under a light post while traveling - always. Why? It's easier to find it if he forgets where he parked it. Simple - effective.
8 - When it comes to the really important things, forget "multitasking." A focused hour spent on a top goal beats a day spent on "thin things." Busy is not the same as effective - often it's just an avoidance tool - it's procrastination dressed in activity.
9 - Act with enthusiasm - nothing makes things work better than energy and optimism - the belief that good things will come from our actions, and the expectation that our goals will be met and exceeded. And. if some of the routine things simply don't call for enthusiasm, then adopting a mindset of acceptance places a much higher value on accomplishing them. Saying to yourself " As soon as I've got that done - I can get on to the neat stuff" creates a reward for yourself.
10 - Enjoy the rewards of your self discipline. When the combination of the most important and the" good enough" results in your success - however you define that elusive word - take the time to celebrate.
Use these ten ways to protect as much of your energy and time and optimism as possible. The result will be greater success in the things that matter to you most - whatever they may be.
Andy Cox helps clients align their resources and design and implement change through the application of goals focused on the important few elements that have maximum impact in achieving success - as defined by the client. He can be reached at http://www.coxconsultgroup.com or acox@coxconsultgroup.com
How to Succeed in Life
Ambitious people are always searching for ways to succeed in life yet the interesting thing is that the seven step secret that reveals how to succeed is contained within the word itself. Let me reveal it to you.
The "S" in succeed stands for setting a goal.
The first step in succeeding at anything is to have a target to aim for. If you have a definite, clearly defined goal and you know why you want that particular goal and how it is going to enhance your life then you have already started on your journey to a successful life.
The "U" in succeed stands for unshakable belief.
In order to achieve your goal you have to believe, at the emotional level, that you will get that goal no matter what obstacles stand in your way. If that belief is total and unwavering then it activates your subconscious mind to work with you in making your goal a reality.
The first "C" in succeed stands for commitment.
If you want to be certain of achieving your goal then it is important that you commit to doing whatever it takes to get there. Most people are half hearted when it comes to commitment. Then when they hit an obstacle or setback they have no fuel to push them through. The people who get their goals have a level of commitment that simply will not take no for an answer and therefore they have enough emotional fuel to blast through any obstacle or setback that comes their way.
The second "C" in succeed stands for creating an action plan.
Even if you don't have any idea how you are going to get your goal you should brainstorm an action plan. Be confident in the knowledge that if your belief and commitment are strong enough then your subconscious mind will help you in creating your action plan.
Your action plan won't be set in concrete. It is simply a starting point to get you moving. As you will see below you are able to modify this plan as necessary along the way.
The first "E" in succeed stands for executing your action plan.
Until you take action your success is just a theory. It is action that turns dreams into reality. Your action should be full on, totally committed, goal directed, daily action. Throw out all your excuses and procrastinations and get yourself into gear and moving.
The second "E" in succeed stands for evaluate.
Once you take action you will get some sort of outcome resulting from that action. The next step is to evaluate that outcome to see if it is taking you closer to your goal or not. Remember that the more action you have taken the more reliable your evaluation will be.
The "D" in succeed stand for decision.
Once you have evaluated your outcomes it is time to make a decision whether to continue taking action according to your current action plan or whether you need to modify your action plan. When I say modify your plan I don't mean for you to suspend your action and go back to the drawing board. You still need to be taking goal directed action each and every day. The modifications I am talking about are done on the go while you are moving. It is just like steering a car; you have to be moving in order for the steering to produce any worthwhile result.
Concluding Remarks.
So if you want to succeed in life remember that the seven step formula is contained within the word succeed.
Set a clearly defined goal.
Unshakable belief.
Commit to doing what ever it will take to achieve your goal.
Create an action plan.
Execute your action plan.
Evaluate your outcomes.
Decide whether to continue with or modify your action plan.
Today is a great day to start putting this formula into practice.
About the Author: James Delrojo would like to help you by giving you his ebook "Unleash the Success Power of Your Mind" (valued at $27) completely FREE. Go to http://www.YourSuccessMind.com
Source: http://www.easyarticles.com
Goal Setting, Personal Planning and Success – How to set very SMART goals!
Goal setting, is a skill that you have to learn if you want success. Goal setting, personal planning and action are key elements in your success. Goal setting is so important that there has been a lot written on this topic.
The biggest challenge is setting goals and then going on to achieve them. If you can set goals according to your personal plan and you can get into the habit of achieving them you will have success. However many people fail to follow through on their goals.
The secret is to use a simple, basic process for setting your goals and make sure that you have some means of achieving them, without making them so easy that they don’t really stretch you.
The four keys to success in Goal setting
There are four main elements to a good goal, encompassed in the acronym S.M.A.R.T. This stands for:
Specific – your goals should be specific, as specific as you can make them. The more specific they are the easier it will be for you to know when you’ve achieved them and to measure your progress towards achieving them. Rather than say “I want to make a lot of money” a good goal would say “I want an income of $5000 per month by October 1st 2006”. Can you see the difference.
You might hesitate to be specific because you might not know what you can achieve – pick a number that seems exciting but not completely insane and go with it.
Measurable Make sure you can measure your goal – if you can’t measure it, how will you know you’ve got it? “I want an income of $5000 per month by October 1st 2006” fits the bill nicely!
You may want to set a goal in some other area of your life where the measurement may be more difficult – e.g. you may want to improve your relationship with your spouse or your boss. Think about how you’re going to know when you’re there – will it mean no more rows, will it mean something else like you eat out together once a week? Think of something that is going to be evidence of achieving your goal.
Realistic This is a tricky one – you have to balance the need for your goal to be achievable with the need for your goal to stretch you. Goals that do not stretch you simply won’t inspire you – would you really get excited about doing your weekly grocery shop 1 day earlier? On the other hand setting a goal to be 10 feet tall is just not going to happen unless you end up in a delusional state!
You will need to use your own judgement here. You will also need to practise the art of goal setting – as you set goals more often in a particular area, you are going to get better at judging what’s achievable but realistic for you. Accept that you may need to learn by trail and error at first.
Time-bound You’ve got to know when you want your goal to be finished. Our money example does this very well. The object of setting goals is to move your forward in your life, this has to happen by a certain time or you will die before you get there. Your goals simply must be time-bound. Choosing the time frame can make the difference between a realistic and an unrealistic goal (doubling your income next week might be a bit difficult, over 5 years it should be easily achievable).
Be SMART when you are setting your goals and take the actions you need to achieve them and you will be well on the road to success.
Do you want to know more about goal personal planning setting success ?
About the Author: You can get a free e-course The success principle . Visit my website for more resources, articles, and support materials about success and personal growth here.
Kevin John has spent many years helping businesses owners, aspiring business owners, and private individuals to develop the understanding and skills needed to achieve the success that they want.
Source: http://www.easyarticles.com
Developing Self Esteem During Childhood
The building of self-esteem starts in childhood. This means that as parents you have a responsibility to help your son or daughter to have a healthy self-image of him or herself. A healthy self-image is the cornerstone of good self-esteem.
How important is self-esteem in a child's development? Developing self-esteem during childhood is very crucial. This is because it could affect the child in every stages of his or her development. How he looks at him or herself will definitely affect his or her future relationships, career development, confidence, prosperity and even happiness. Studies have shown that one of the traits happy people share is having a positive self-image of themselves.
How does a parent that his or her child has a healthy self-image? There are several ways to do this. Below are just some of the things you can do to develop your child's self-esteem.
Never compare your child with other children
The single most devastating thing a parent can do to ruin his or her child's self-esteem is to compare him or her with other children. Unfortunately, comparisons are very much a part of our culture particularly our schooling system. One of the ways a child gets compared to other children is through peer pressure.
Every child knows that there is tremendous pressure from other children, particularly from the ones in school to conform to the ways of a certain group. That is why in school you can see several cliques and these groups can be identified with different labels. There are the jocks, the jerks, the nerd or geek, the addict, the slut, etc. These groups are inherently not bad but oftentimes group's identity precedes the individual's identity which could lead into a loss in identity and eventually low self-esteem.
To most adults these are just groups and labels but for a young innocent child the cliques are their world. Your child intentionally or not gets labeled and his or her tendency to is group with the ones with similar ideas and interests.
Always praise and encourage your children
When you talk to your child, always remember to use positive and encouraging words. If your child has done something praiseworthy then do not hold back on the kind and beautiful words. Doing so will do wonders for your kid's self esteem. It does not matter whether the act is big or small. If he did something good then praise him for it. There is nothing more discouraging than the feeling of not being appreciated for the things that you have done.
Praising and encouraging children provides them with a positive self image of themselves. For them, it means that they are important enough for you to notice and recognize their achievements in life.
By constantly giving kind encouraging words to children, you can ensure that they will grow healthy psychologically.
Of course if they did something wrong, children should be reprimanded. But should do it in a way that it won't hurt their ego and damage their esteem. Whenever they have done something that is less than d desirable always make it clear to them that you are not in favor with the deed and not with them.
Remember, developing your child's self-esteem is very important in his or her progress. Just follow the guidelines to make sure that your kid will grow up mature emotionally and mentally.
Happiness - 13 Steps To Maximum Happiness!
1. Set a goal and achieve it:
By setting a desired end in mind, it allows one to be able to concentrate fully on achieving the goal. When one goes through the process of gaining his/her targets, the person becomes satisfied and happy. It is a great feeling.
2. Smile everyday:
Having a smile on the face and trying to be angry is difficult. By smiling, it influences our state of mind. It makes one feel good and others who seen the smile feel good as well.
3. Positive mindset and attitude:
What we focus, expands. Same goes with our attitude and perception in things. Adopt a positive mindset and look at the ‘good’ things. With a positive attitude, makes the best out of everything, don’t focus on the can’ts, focus on the cans. You be happier that way.
4. Relax and enjoy life:
Life is hectic and fast paced in this modernize era. We need to learn and take time out to adore ourselves. Meanwhile, learn to enjoy life and have fun at the same time. Relax our mind give us a enjoyable feeling.
5. Do what you love:
We always have something that we love to do and whenever we are able to do it, we feel great. However, sometime, it is difficult to pursue the things that we enjoy, but we can learn to love the things we do and be happy.
6. Be your true self:
Stop putting a mask on your face when you walk out of the house, it’s tiring. Be true to your inner heart. Buy things that you really like but do not overspend. Learn to accept things as some are not within our control.
7. Be a student and learn new things:
The world is our teacher and everyone around us will be giving us lessons in some ways or another. Have a learning heart and learn from failures/mistakes and your life will be better and happier.
8. Giving:
The ability to give is a great feeling. When we have the luxury of giving others who are less fortunate, we feel happy as we are helping them.
9. Healthy lifestyle:
Health is very important on our life. Having a healthy lifestyle is a perfect platform to build our happiness. Without health, is almost impossible to be really happy.
10. Wish the best for others and mean it:
Don’t be selfish and only care for yourself. Wishing the best for others and they will in turn wish the best for you. You feel better and happy for them too.
11. Self control:
Discipline is needed if you want to achieve something; it is the same case for having happiness. There are some must dos and some must not. We need to self control in order to complete the task.
12. Appreciate the world:
Thank God in whichever religion you are faithful in. Life is short and we must learn to appreciate the world. Blaming others do not make us happier.
13. Good friends and companion:
With good friends and a good relationship, you should be happy!
By: Jackson Tan
Source: http://www.articledashboard.com
Jackson Tan is an University student who wants to promote and spreads the word of HAPPINESS to the whole world. He believes that everyone can be Happy as long as they choose to. For more free information on Happiness, go to projecth.blogspot.com/ This article is free for republishing by visitors provided the resource link is retained.
Self improvement and success go hand in hand
How do you know if a person is willing to attain self improvement? This is a question with no definite answer. It will all depend on the individual.
Many people have goals, dreams or ambitions but do not know how to go about achieving them. They may have thought about what would make up self improvement and their ideal life, but have no idea how to even begin to make the plans and take the actions required to make them a reality.
Some people have a vague idea on how to go about self improvement. These are the ones that believe that if only they had a better job, or had been given better opportunities, or met the love of their life, or whatever else, everything would be fine and they would be happy.
They feel that their happiness or lack of happiness is decided by external factors and their thoughts and actions are of little consequence.
Some believe that if only they had more money they could have whatever they want and be on their way to self improvement.
They may have spent little time thinking about what they actually want from life, and do not really believe there is anything they can do to create their fuzzy version of utopia anyway, apart from buying more lottery tickets.
Other people do not even know what they actually want from their lives and may even have little idea what would really makes them happy. They seem to just drift from day to day, week to week, month to month, and year to year, and do little more than just about get by.
They may have seemingly secure jobs and be earning enough to live relatively comfortable lives. They seem happy enough and have no great ambition to achieve anything more from their lives than they currently have.
Is self improvement important?
The reality is that throughout our lives we are all constantly growing and developing. Circumstances make us grow and develop, even if we do not make the conscious decision to do so.
Up to a certain age, we learn through formal education and we continue to learn through our experiences for the rest of our lives. We have to learn and grow to deal with everything that life throws at us. We all have to go through self improvement.
Modern life moves at a dramatically faster pace than at anytime in history. For anyone living in modern society there are more opportunities to do anything that you want to do with your life than ever before.
But there is also more competition than ever before, and ever changing technology means that there really are few, if any ‘jobs for life’ anymore. It is now normal not only to change jobs quite often throughout our working lives, but even to completely change careers and industries.
Because the workplace is so competitive, people who are ambitious and hungry for success know they need to learn new skills and knowledge to keep ahead of the pack. To attain this, self improvement is needed.
These are the people that will be most likely to keep their jobs, or progress within their chosen field, or that will be readily employable in different organizations or industries.
A commitment to self improvement and personal growth may well be the deciding factor in how anyone’s future will turn out.
13 “FAB” Tips To Go From Whiner To A Winner
1. Center Yourself.
Take in a deep breath. Let it out. Now, breathe in brilliance. Exhale out the burden. Do this three times so you feel more centered.
2. Ask for the Greatest Good.
As Mayor, take a moment and claim your office, and ask that your solutions be for the highest good for all.
3. Set Your Intention.
Set your intention to discover successful scenarios.
4. What Do You Want?
Take a moment to think of something fabulous you'd like to do, be, or have.
5. See It.
Let's say you want to double your income. Picture yourself enjoying the fun and freedom all that dough will give you.
6. Listen Up.
What goes on in your brain when you see yourself in those pictures? Do you hear all the reasons it won't happen? "It's impossible." "I can't make more money." "I got fired from my last job." "I'm not smart enough." Okey-dokey. Thank your Criticism Committee for showing up.
7. Make a Shift.
As Mayor, you are the one in charge of what you tell yourself. You can switch your self-talk.
8. Quick, a Pic.
Think of a way to make $1. Great. Now, think of an idea for making $100. Super. Now, think of an idea that will make $1,000. Excellent. Now, have a million-dollar idea. $1,000.000. Well done! (Every hairbrained concept counts!)
Did you notice how you had different pictures for each?
9. Brainstorming.
Now, instruct your Mental Board to brainstorm solutions—how to manifest the picture of what you want. The best way to come up with a few really good ideas is to start with lots of ideas. They don't have to be good. They don't have to work. They don't even need to make a lot of sense. Just create a downpour of possibilities.
10. Write Them Down.
Jot down your Solution Solutions as they come to you (no editing or peeking from the Criticism Committee, please).
11. Review.
Once you have ten ideas (silly, stupid, and impossible ones count) reevaluate your list. Is there an approach you hadn't thought of? Is there a next step you can explore? Bravo! If not, that's fine too. You can keep playing the game to find the solution, instead of looking at the problem.
12. What You Focus on Grows.
Stay focused on what you want more of and how you can create it.
13. Thank Yourself.
Thank yourself for making a choice to discover the power of positive focus.
About the Author: Eli Davidson built a design company from $17 and a glue gun to 1.5 million in sales in four years. In an 18 month period she lost her business, marriage and health leaving her $88,000 in debt. That was in 1999. Using the system she teaches, she turned her life around. Four years later she had paid off her debt, was living in a million dollar home, and coaching some of the most successful people in America including Emmy, Grammy and Golden Globe winners.
Today, she is a nationally recognized woman’s business expert who shares her ‘Turnaround Techniques’ in her new book, Funky to Fabulous. Eli has been featured on ‘The Today Show’, USA Network, NBC and Fox Television. Contact Eli mailto:info@elidavidson.com or at (310) 842.8076.
Source: http://www.easyarticles.com
Some Self Esteem Building Exercises
There are simply times when we feel so bad about ourselves. It can be caused by a lot of things. Heartbreak is one of the most common reasons for low self esteem and is often the case for people who lost their self to their relationship. For the people who are in love with their career, a demotion can kill their self esteem. Workaholics who get fired are the number one candidates of low self esteem.
Teenagers who devote their time and energy to finally getting that slot in the varsity will have a lot to work on their self esteem should they be cut from the team. Self esteem is anchored in a lot of things like the factors mentioned above but solely depending on one single factor is not good. A high self esteem should be gained by being able positive toward all aspects of life and not just one.
In case you are one of those people who are suffering from low self esteem or happen to know someone who is suffering from low self esteem then read on and maybe these exercises can help you in finding your way back to gaining that high self esteem. Let us start off with your self. The mirror can do so many things. How many times have we seen depressed people throw mirrors or throw something at mirrors to break them because they do not like what they see?
Many, many times I would bet. So let us begin with making sure that we like what we see in the mirrors. In this phase, physically looking good is very important so take the time to fix yourself. Take a trip to the parlor or to the gym. It is a must that you like and love what you see in the mirror because such fondness is a good way to start making yourself better. And when that is settled, look at the mirror every morning and say “I love myself” not because your narcissistic but because you love the unique you who have so much to offer to the world.
Have one day of fun with friends every week. Sometimes surrounding yourself with people is not enough. You have to have a day spent with really close friends wherein you do nothing but celebrate the “highs” of the week. Think up of something like the “snap cup” in the movie Legally Blonde and have a session every week.
Why every week? It is nice to always have something to look forward to every week. This exercise, aside from helping you keep your self esteem, will enable you to share a unique bond with your friends and together you will all grow up beautifully. Be careful not to over praise each other so make sure that you only give sincere and timely praises to each other.
Those are just two exercises you can practice to build your self esteem or to finally build a high self esteem. There are other ways but one individual practice and another group exercise should encourage you to get at least get started and then just keep on doing it until it becomes habit. You never know, when you are so good at it then you can begin to walk the talk and inspire others to do the same.
Accepting Yourself - Here's How To Start
Are you happy with yourself just the way you are? Do you accept yourself with all your shortcomings? Most people don't. For several reasons.
For instance, society holds certain standards that by their very nature are almost impossible to live up to. You're supposed to strive for the perfect job. The perfect home. The perfect family. The perfect relationship. The perfect body.
When we compare ourselves to this mythical 'ideal person' - it's no wonder we lack self-acceptance!
We live in a society that demands comparison and contrast and competition. But we'll never measure up to the ideal standards of perfection; the ones set up by the unspoken rules of society. Thus we can never accept ourselves. It's a no-win situation:
1. Here's the perfect/ideal person...
2. You must compare yourself to this image...
3. Perfection, by definition, is impossible...
4. Therefore, you lose!
What makes it even worse is that we rarely - if ever - question this situation. We've bought into the lie. We accept that we're unacceptable without ever really stopping to evaluate why.
Which is one of the main reasons we stay stuck in our present condition. Because if you don't accept yourself, what will be your motivation for change? Anger? Ridicule? Derision? Self-loathing?
Is that really the fuel you want to use to better yourself?
Here's another reason so few people have self-acceptance:
We forget we're ALWAYS a work-in-progress. Because we're stuck in time. We tend to see ourselves as standing on a pinnacle, or a plateau, or sadly maybe even a trough. No matter the image, it still seems to be somewhat of a 'concluding statement' about ourselves.
"I am the sum total of all I've been."
True. But that's also going to be true next week, next year, next decade. Because while we can look around us in the present, and we can remember the past; the future seems so unknown... so elusive... so unreal. We tend to believe the future doesn't exist. And it may never exist. All we know is the present and the past.
I may never change because "This is where I've ended up in life."
Guess what? You never end up anywhere in this life. Life is a process. Not a destination. It's not about your 'place' in life - because your place is always changing. Or it should be. It better be. Life is like a river. A never-ending river.
Remember when the sixth-graders looked so big? Then you got to the sixth grade. Then it's the high school kids who looked so big, so cool, so mature. We compare ourselves to others who are more than we are. Without realizing we're on our own path to becoming more.
Self-acceptance makes it much easier to grow and change. Why? Because it gives us something positive to push off from. It gives us something solid to stand on as we reach for more.
The problem is, we often confuse contentment with complacency. We confuse satisfaction with settling. If I'm content and satisfied with who I am and where I am right now (which means I'm accepting myself) then I'm in a stronger position to achieve more.
If I'm complacent; if I've settled - then I'm not likely to do much of anything to change. And this state can be confused with self-acceptance, rather than what it really is - self-resignation.
Admitting who and what you are, admitting your accomplishments, and taking responsibility for them - strengthens you.
"Yes, I want more. Much more. But I'm willing to pause and reflect and be responsible for all I've done up till now."
Do that, and you'll be one step closer to accepting yourself. Plus, by looking for the good, you'll find and create more of it.
Self-acceptance does not come easy. You're up against a lot of negative programming. But reflecting on your accomplishments can be a starting point. Even if you used to be on a peak, and now you're in a trough, there has to be some sort of silver lining. At the very least, you have a greater awareness of life.
Maybe you're ready to accept yourself on a deeper, more profound level. Maybe it's time to love yourself a little more and judge yourself a little less harshly. Maybe today is the day you begin to embrace self-acceptance.
Nobody else can stop you from accepting yourself.
By: Mark Ivar Myhre
Source: http://www.articledashboard.com
Mark Ivar Myhre, The Emotional Healing Wizard, shows you how to accept yourself starting today through the magic of forgiveness. For more information go to www.forgive-yourself.com
Seven Steps to Designing the Life You Deserve
Feel something’s not right in your life? Feeling stuck? Not sure where you’re headed? Are you simply searching for more?
No need to swim against the current of your life, engulfed in frustration. You can take steps today to release what’s holding you back, reshape the direction of your life and sail forward in an effortless flow.
Here are seven steps to transforming your life by design:
1. Accept yourself and your life as they are now! Where you are in your life today right now is precisely where you are supposed to be. Think about it. Your life is your story and it is meant to inspire others to achieve their own personal greatness. Lovingly embrace yourself and your amazing, unique story with open arms.
2. Be grateful. Express gratitude daily for who you are, what you have, and what you do. Start your day with words of thanksgiving. Share your gratitude for others through your words and actions. Let the people in your life know how important they are to you. Remember: being grateful first is a non-negotiable prerequisite for attracting into your life all that you desire and deserve. So give thanks daily.
3. Name your pain. Identify it. Isolate what has you stuck. What is blocking the flow of your life? Relationship issues? Regrets? Anger? Pluck them from the core of your emotional being. Line them all up on the table. Get ready to face your foes. The key is to be completely honest with yourself.
4. Forgive yourself and others. Thank yourself and the others for giving you such powerful life lessons. The act of forgiving is intended to make you a whole person again regardless of the response of the other person. Forgiveness frees you and allows you to embrace with hope the promises of tomorrow.
5. Release the pain and move on. Journal your feelings. Write letters and tear them up. Scream into your pillow. Most importantly, breath through the pain. Life’s lacerations will always be a part of your story but they need not obstruct you from living the life you so bountifully deserve. Stop being a victim. You have only one precious life to live. Let go of what does not serve you and make the decision to move on now! Strive to thrive.
6. Design what you intend to do with your one life. Visualize the reality you know you deserve. Create your vision board. Fill it with pictures, words, and symbols that draw you forward to fulfill the purpose for which you were created. Give yourself permission to dream and dream big. We are meant to live abundantly!
7. Take action daily. Prioritize your daily activities, focusing on those that move you closer to your goals. Be accountable to yourself and others on a daily basis. A willingly and purposefully set high standards for yourself. Joyfully move forward in the direction of your vision. Savor the fine flavor of inner peace and fulfillment that come from actively working the purpose for which you were created.
So step through what stops you. Walk with a definite purpose and work with a definite purpose, offering hope and inspiration to others through your story of success.
Colorize your life by transforming the basic black and white of everyday living into the vibrant, colorful spectrum of possibilities that awaits you.
Choose to change. Choose to be unstoppable. Choose to live a life brimming with abundance. The choice is yours.
About the Author: Businesswoman, Friend, Collaborator, and Team player, Mary Nerburn fulfills her Entrepreneurial Calling by offering a great service that enriches the lives of others. Together with other fellow BraveHeart Community members, her goal is to empower Women to be multi-dimensional success stories and inspiration to others. Be sure to Visit : Be a BraveHeart Woman
Source: http://www.easyarticles.com
Achieving Your Goals - Words Make a Difference
Kids have the most amazing insight if you stop and listen to them. Our daughter has an adult relative who lives far away who said to her "I wish I could see you more often". Do you know what she said later? I don't think he means it, or he would see me more often. Good observation.
Let's look at this more closely. When the relative above says "I wish", this person is indicating that 1) they have not made a decision to make it happen and 2) the ability to make visits more often is not within his/her power. To that, I say poppycock!
The decision to "make it so" is the key. Not the how, or why. For any goal, one just has to decide to it and then figure out how. The how will follow. To achieve a goal, it's crucial to decide to do it. It doesn't matter really how or whether you feel that circumstances are outside your control. The means to accomplish this goal will present themselves after you decide. Waiting to think about it or wish about it moves one no closer to achievement. .. and wastes time that could be used constructively toward the goal.
Ok, ok, Nike beat me to it....
To get what we want, we need to get rid of the words "would", "could", "should", "wish", "might" and replace them with "I will" or "I won't". There's no doubt that the Nike slogan has appeal: Just Do It!
If you look at the cause and effect decision making that we do for so many of our decisions, it's very simple: deciding to do it should be first, then how. How many times have you dwelled on making a decision because you started thinking about the how and got stuck? I have, a lot. Unless I take notice, this is the first place I go. It has kept me from taking positive actions more than once.
Many people are comfortable in their world of would, could and should. It's easier to make excuses for failure that way. No promises made to anyone (including oneself), just wishful thinking. Of course, like our daughter pointed out, it's almost always a failure mindset. Without commitment there is no action.
An easy example of this that we all can relate to is diet and exercise. Many of my friends wish they weighed less or "had a body like X". Deciding to get fit and eat right is the first step. The how becomes evident with a bit of studying and organization. Next thing you know... a whole new fit body!
So, it's more the wisdom of our grandfathers and grandmothers than modern science. It goes like this.
1. Consider decision and its impact to you and your important people
2. Decide to do it or not
3. Then, figure out how
I for one am working on replacing the "would, could, should" in my vocabulary with "I will, I can, I shall and you bet!". I have been amazed at the difference that one simple paradigm shift has made in my life. Just Do It!
About the Author: Ainsley Laing, MSc. has been a Fitness Trainer for 25 years and writes exclusively Body for Mind eZine. She holds certifications in Group Exercise, Sports Nutrition and Personal Fitness Training. She is also a professional engineer and mom. To see more articles by Ainsley visit
http://www.bodyformind.com or the blog at
http://www.bodyformind.blogspot.com
Copyright © 2008 Ainsley Laing
FEAR AND REASON.
"In civilized life it has at last become possible for large numbers of people to pass from the cradle to the grave without ever having had a pang of genuine fear. Many of us need an attack of mental disease to teach us the meaning of the word." William James.
We have all heard the seemingly discriminating remarks that fear is normal and abnormal, and that normal fear is to be regarded as a friend, while abnormal fear should be destroyed as an enemy.
The fact is that no so called normal fear can be named which has not been clearly absent in some people who have had every cause therefor. If you will run over human history in your mind, or look about yea in the present life, you will find here and there persons who, in situations or before objects which ought, as any fearful soul will insist, to inspire the feeling of at least normal self-protecting fear, are nevertheless wholly without the feeling. They possess every feeling and thought demanded except fear. The idea of self-preservation is as strongly present as with the most abjectly timid or terrified, but fear they do not know. This fearless awareness of fear suggesting conditions may be due to several causes. It may result from constitutional make-up, or from long continued training or habituation, or from religious ecstasy, or from a perfectly calm sense of spiritual selfhood which is unhurtable, or from the action of very exalted reason. Whatever the explanation, the fact remains: the very causes which excite fear in most of us, merely appeal, with such people, if at all. to the instinct of self-preservation and to reason, the thought-element of the soul which makes for personal peace and wholeness.
Banish all fear.
It is on such considerations that I have come to hold that all real fear-feeling should and may be banished from our life, and that what we call "normal fear" should be substituted in our language by "instinct" or by "reason," the element of fear being dropped altogether.
"Everyone can testify that the psychical state called fear consists of mental representations of certain painful results" (James). The mental representations may be very faint as such, but the idea of hurt to self is surely present. If, then, it can be profoundly believed that the real self cannot be hurt; if the reason can be brought to consider vividly and believingly all quieting considerations; if the self can be held consciously in the assurance that the White Life surrounds the true self, and is surely within that self, and will suffer "no evil to come nigh," while all the instincts of self preservation may be perfectly active, fear itself must be removed "as far as the east is from the west."
These are the ways, then, in which any occasion for fear may be divided:
As a warning and as a maker of panic. But let us say that the warning should be understood as given to reason, that fear need not appear at all, and that the panic is perfectly useless pain. With these discriminations in mind, we may now go on to a preliminary study of fear.
preliminary study of fear.
Fear is (a) an impulse, (b) a habit, (c) a disease.
Fear, as it exists in man, is a make-believe of sanity, a creature of the imagination, a state of insanity.
Furthermore, fear is, now of the nerves, now of the mind, now of the moral consciousness.
The division depends upon the point of view. What is commonly called normal fear should give place to reason, using the word to cover instinct as well as thought. From the correct point of view all fear is an evil so long as entertained.
Whatever its manifestations, wherever its apparent location, fear is a psychic state, of course, reacting upon the individual in several ways: as, in the nerves, in mental moods, in a single impulse, in a chronic habit, in a totally unbalanced condition. The reaction has always a good intention, meaning, in each case, "Take care! Danger!" You will see that this is so if you will look for a moment at three comprehensive kinds of fear fear of self, fear for self, fear for others. Fear of self is indirectly fear for self danger. Fear for others signifies foresensed or forepictured distress to self because of anticipated misfortune to others. I often wonder whether, when we fear for others, it is distress to self or hurt to them that is most emphatically in our thought.
Fear, then, is usually regarded as the soul's danger signal. But the true signal is instinctive and thoughtful reason.
Even instinct and reason, acting as warning, may perform their duty abnormally, or assume abnormal proportions. And then we have the feeling of fear. The normal warning is induced by actual danger apprehended by mind in a state of balance and self-control. Normal mind is always capable of such warning. There are but two ways in which so-called normal fear, acting in the guise of reason, may be annihilated: by the substitution of reason for fear, and by the assurance of the white life.
Let it be understood, now, that by normal fear is here meant normal reason real fear being denied place and function altogether. Then we may say that such action of reason is a benefactor to man. It is, with pain and weariness, the philanthropy of the nature of things within us.
One person said: "Tired? No such word in my house!" Now this cannot be a sound and healthy attitude. Weariness, at a certain stage of effort, is a signal to stop work. When one becomes so absorbed in labor as to lose consciousness of the feeling of weariness, he has issued a "hurry call" on death. I do not deny that the soul may cultivate a sublime sense of buoyancy and power; rather do I urge you to seek that beautiful condition; but I hold that when a belief or a hallucination refuses to permit you to hear the warning of nerves and muscles, Nature will work disaster inevitably. Let us stand for the larger liberty which is joyously free to take advantage of everything Nature may offer for true well-being. There is a partial liberty which tries to realize itself by denying various realities as real; there is a higher liberty which really realizes itself by conceding such realities as real and by using or disusing them as occasion may require in the interest of the self at its best. I hold this to be true wisdom: to take advantage of everything which evidently promises good to the self, without regard to this or that theory, and freely to use all things, material or immaterial, reasonable or spiritual. I embrace your science or your method; but I beg to ignore your bondage to philosophy or to consistency. So I say that to normal health the weary-sense is a rational command to replenish exhausted nerves and muscles.
It is not liberty, it is not healthful, to declare, "There is no pain!" Pain does exist, whatever you affirm, and your affirmation that it does not is proof that it does exist, for why (and how) declare the non-existence of that which actually is non-existent? But if you say, "As a matter of fact I have pain, but I am earnestly striving to ignore it, and to cultivate thought-health so that the cause of pain may be removed," that is sane and beautiful. This is the commendable attitude of the Bible character who cried: "Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief." To undertake swamping pain with a cloud of psychological fog that is to turn anarchist against the good government of Nature. By pain Nature informs the individual that he is somewhere out of order. This warning is normal. The feeling becomes abnormal in the mind when imagination twangs the nerves with reiterated irritation, and Will, confused by the discord and the psychic chaos, cowers and shivers with fear.
I do not say there is no such thing as fear. Fear does exist. But it exists in your life by your permission only, not because it is needful as a warning against "evil."
Fear is induced by unduly magnifying actual danger, or by conjuring up fictitious dangers through excessive and misdirected psychical reactions. This also may be taken as a signal of danger, but it is a falsely-intentioned witness, for it is not needed, is hostile to the individual because it threatens self-control and it absorbs life's forces in useless and destructive work when they ought to be engaged in creating values.
Learn about building high Self-Esteem
Self esteem is something that every person should have and the loss of it in a person spell disaster. Just like anything that a person has to have, a person should work at building his or her self esteem. Before one can do that, there is a need to know things about self esteem. Self esteem is how a person perceives his or herself. There are various factors that a person should have a positive attitude about including the value he or she gives to him or herself as a human being, his or her career and his or her achievements in order to develop a high self esteem.
That is only for starters, one has to go deeper an see a positive meaning to one’s place in the world and as well as one’s purpose in life. In looking at the future, there should be optimism while evaluating one’s potential to be successful by working on one’s weaknesses and highlighting the strengths. Last but certainly not the least a person has to have independence or the capacity to stand on his or her own to feet because being independent is one good way to start building a high self esteem.
Knowing all these things will help a great deal but there might also be other factors that you want to add but this is a really good start already. You might get from the very long first paragraph that building high self esteem is all about the individual and that is true because your self worth is obviously based on how the individual sees his or himself.
However the people surrounding a person also has an impact on the self esteem of the individual concerned especially the people with whom the person has a close relationship with. This is the reason why there are a lot of cases of damaged self esteems that are somehow related to emotional and physical battery as well as milder cases of heartbreaks for the teenagers.