Three Simple Steps to Obtaining Self Confidence
The search for true self confidence leads all of us in different directions. We all desire the magic pill that will instantly bring us the qualities and personality of someone with true self confidence. Confidence is not something that can be acquired simply by reading multiple self help books. It can not be acquired by taking action one day and then deciding it did not work. It certainly will not be acquired by sitting around imagining yourself with it. True self confidence will only become a fabric of you through repeated education, experience and faith.
The first pillar of self confidence is education. My first instinct to acquiring self confidence was to read books and listen to CDs about it. I gained my best eduation on self confidence by asking experts in their fields how they obtained it. The best educational foundation for self confidence is a combination of books, CDs and other's personal experiences. The most important step in the education process was to only apply my learning to one area of my life. For example, I wanted self confidence in my profession which was sales and marketing. I read books on finding prospects and closing deals. I also asked the most successful marketing and sales professionals how they handled certain situations. Be specific when you start the learning process. Self confidence is something we desire in every area of our life. Amazingly, once you start to educate yourself in a specific context, you will see that you can apply it to all areas of your life.
The second ingredient of self confidence is experience through action. A more direct way to state this is take action. We have all been guilty of educating ourselves and suddenly realizing we have made a great discovery. The problem that most of us have is once we acquire the information we fail to take action on it. I will be the first to admit this. Do the action that will bring you confidence. If you are in sales and you have a problem closing deals with your prospects, ask for the sale. If you want to ask out some one on a date, simply ask for the date. Remember, the result is not what is important. In the short term, it does not matter if the person says yes or no. If you do get a yes, your self confidence will immediately get a boost. If you get a no, you will gain valuable experience that will help you the next time you ask. Failure is the most important element of experience. Read this sentence again. Those with the greatest self confidence still fail more often in their life than succeed. Accept failure as a stepping stone to unwavering self confidence. The reason is once true self confidence is attained; once one becomes comfortable with failure, the mind will start to look for the opportunity in everything.
The third pillar is faith. Faith is that power that can not be measured like education and experience. Faith is an ingredient, when accepted, that will take you to higher levels not even imagined. I am not talking about blind faith. I am talking about educated, prepared and confident faith. True faith will be accomplished when you take action against your fears. You will know when you have real faith because you will thirst the knowledge, experiences and situations you once dreaded. You will be master of your emotions no longer fearing failure. Your faith will drive you through these fear thoughts. They will no longer be looked at as barriers but rather simple challenges that will only make you better in the long term.
Remember that all three pillars of self confidence have to be practiced and executed consistently. Faith breeds action. If you don't believe, you will not take action. Education without action is worse than not learning in the first place. If you do not take action, you will not learn. Work on all three pillars simultaneously in your daily life now and take the first step to true self confidence.
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Joe Czarnecki is an entrepreneur who specializes in sales and business development in the automobile and e-commerce industries. He is a Finance Manager for a Fortune 300 company and owner of a growing niche based e-commerce company. Joe attributes his success to over 10 years of constant education, experience and faith. To becomes a member of Joe’s newsletter on all areas of self confidence, visit him at www.conquerconfidence.com .
Improving Your Self Confidence
When you project self confidence you get further ahead. You feel better about yourself and people like to be around you. More opportunities open up for you naturally. Not everyone is “born” with self confidence but even if your confidence is low, there are some things you can do to improve on it.
The first thing you must do to gain self confidence is to accept and love yourself. Remember that no one is perfect so don’t beat yourself up over a few flaws. You must accept them and think about all your great qualities. Doing so will free your mind of a heavy baggage of unnecessary worries and you will instantly feel light and cheerful.
Another thing you must do is to participate in activities that you enjoy. When is that last time you enjoyed a walk outdoors or some activity you loved to do when you were young? This might seem like a little thing but these simple things have the power to add on to build great confidence and fulfillment. Take some time each day to do something you enjoy and reflect on your special abilities. Since you enjoy doing that activity, it means that you have all the aptitude and intelligence necessary to do the job effortlessly even though you may not realize it.
Setting and achieving your goals is another step in gaining self confidence but many people set unrealistic goals and when they fail to achieve them it undermines their self confidence. Even if you have a lofty goal, break it down into smaller steps. Then you can check off each completed step as a goal successfully reached and be that much closer to your ultimate “big” goal.
The people you associate with play an important role in your self confidence. If your loved ones are always criticizing you then this will do nothing for your self confidence. You need to stay away from people like this and gravitate towards those with a positive outlook that will support you. This will do wonders for your self confidence!
In addition to listening to what others have to say about you, you need to be aware of your own self talk. Do you think “I could never do that?” or “I didn’t do a good job” a lot? You must change this type of self talk to be more positive. How about ‘I did my best and it came out pretty good” instead? You need to realize that you are a unique individual with your own special place in the world and realize you can succeed at any reasonable task and can handle lifes daily tests. The key is to not become so over confident that you stop listening to others and think that you know everything. Taking in others perceptions, criticisms and praise and filtering it so that you only take in what will help make you better will help in your self confidence in the long run.
Your self picture is what feeds your self confidence and this needs constant monitoring and care. Don’t underestimate yourself and guard against letting feelings of inferiority in. Always shoot for your best and most reasonable goals and keep your strong points in mind.
A good practice is to write down some short term and long term plans. Where would you like to be 5 years from now? Break that down into smaller steps and go about executing your plan. Also write down all your strong points - what you do well and the things you usually receive compliments on. At the same time, write down a few things you would like to work on improving. Have a self image of yourself as confident and proceed to act this way even when you are not feeling confident, this will go a long way in adjusting your attitude. When negative feelings or feelings of inferiority creep in, simply push them away. If they insist on coming back, set them aside to think about at the end of the day and go on with your business using your confident attitude.
Taking responsibility for your thoughts and actions and practicing self confidence will go a long way toward improving your self confidence helping you reach your goals and enriching your life!
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About the Author:
Lee Dobbins writes for Better Self where you can learn more about self help and self improvement. Visit www.better-self.com for more on how to acheive better self confidence.
The Keys to Build Self Confidence
Many of us know that we would benefit from increased self-confidence; after all, a lack of it is easy enough to identify! If you lack self-confidence, you are more likely to let people treat you badly or take advantage of you. You might also have a tendency to fall short of your real potential at work or school, or in your interpersonal relationships. If any of these descriptions sound like you, chances are, you need to work on your self-confidence. But actually building self-confidence can be a long road - it isn't as simple as it sounds. Here are some tips for building self-confidence to get you on your way.
First, the key to self confidence is to love yourself, and this can be difficult if you weren't raised with a sense of unconditional love or support. That doesn't mean that your parents didn't love you - but some may have had trouble showing it, or they may have been so anxious for you to grow up 'right' that some disapproving messages were sent out. As children, we pick these up unconsciously, and grow to beleive them. To build self-confidence, it's time to let go of self-critical thinking. Wherever you are at the moment is a fine starting point. There is no need to criticise or berate yourself for what you percieve as your deficiencies.
Second, identify what you are really good at and enjoy, and perfect that skill. The better you are at what you do, and the more positive feedback you recieve, the higher your self-confidence will be. Many of us have the perception that we don't enjoy working hard - this usually isn't the case if the work you are doing is right for you. Once that happpens, you will likely feel confident, skilled and productive.
Finally, a great way of building your self-confidence is to occasionally challenge yourself, maybe even doing things that scare you a little now and then. Start small - do something you haven't done before, but that doesn't take you too far out of your personal comfort zone. Then, build on that. As you start taking more chances and becoming more adventurous, your sense of self will expand. If you really enjoy life and the work you are doing, building self-confidence should be a natural by-product. It becomes something that evolves on its own rather than something you work on, and the rewards will be great in all aspects of your life!
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