How to Overcome Jealousy, Guaranteed!
There is nothing more pathetic and unattractive than jealousy. I have yet to find anything productive that comes from being jealous. It makes you do stupid things, and it makes her stop liking you.
Here is something that you MUST accept... If she is going to cheat on you, raging jealousy will only speed along the process. It certainly won't stop her. You have to develop the attitude that "if she's going to cheat on me, I want it to happen." That way you can move on to better things.
Yes, as with anything, sometimes a person will respond well to you showing a little emotion. But trust me, you are MUCH better off never being jealous than searching for just the right amount of jealousy.
The reason is that jealousy automatically signals insecurity. And nobody wants to be with someone that is insecure. Girls want to be with the catch, the prize, someone who knows he's got a lot to offer. They don't want to be with someone who thinks she is going to leave him for every guy she talks to. And here's a hint, if you let her know you're afraid of her leaving you, then she probably will.
You must keep your life that you had before you started dating. This will help tremendously with jealousy. Jealousy usually comes as the result of not having any other options. When you are that afraid of losing someone, every little thing can be seen as a threat. So you have to keep your life outside of the relationship strong. I'm not saying you should keep other girls on the line, but you should know that you can go out and get another girl the next day if you have to. If you have a great life, you won't freak out over the little things, because you will be fine no matter what happens.
Put yourself in her shoes. If you talk to someone of the opposite sex, it doesnt mean that you are interested in them. The same goes for her. Just because she has friends of the opposite sex, or talks to them occasionally, doesnt mean that she is going to cheat on you. But if you throw a fit every time she does it, it might actually push her away.
So keep your mind off of these paranoid thoughts by staying busy with other interests, and looking at things outside of your emotions. If you can keep this attitude, or at least act like it. You will be more attractive to your partner and your relationships will prosper.
Copyright © 2008 Lance Taylor
To learn more about overcoming jealousy in your relationships, visit: http://www.relationshipmastery101.com .
Fear That I Do Not Deserve Success
Are you striving for personal and professional success and not reaching your goals? Do you feel you deserve success? Could it be that you feel guilty about something you did or did not do that is causing you to feel bad about yourself and sabotage all your efforts?
I am convinced that 99% of us are blocking our health, happiness, and success because we do not believe we deserve it. I learned about this common unconscious fear as I was counseling clients as a Marriage, Family Therapist. I was surprised to discover that this negative thought was preventing men, women, and children from reaching their goals.
When I assisted clients of all ages to overcome this major self-defeating thought, they were able to make the changes they desired.
I also know that we are all basically good, because clients who were not even caught doing something wrong still felt guilty, and punished themselves by sabotaging their success.
An example of this is Joan, a fifty-year-old woman, who made a lot of money and then lost it all. To help Joan, I guided her through the HART process (Holistic And Rapid Transformation). I asked her to close her eyes and say, "I can't be successful, because ____," and finish the sentence. Joan replied, "I can't be successful, because I am bad." I then said, "Go back the time you decided that you were bad." Joan saw herself stealing money out of her parents' cash register when she was ten years old. No one caught her, but she still felt guilty, and she was punishing herself forty years later.
I then asked Joan to imagine that her parents were there in the store and to speak to them. She said, "Mom and Dad, I am really sorry. Please forgive me." Then Joan imagined that they were forgiving her and she forgave herself. At that point, she sighed with relief and said, "Wow! I have been carrying that around for a long time."
We can feel guilty about anything no matter how long ago it happened. It is important to become aware of anything we believe was wrong. Then we can stop punishing ourselves by letting it go with forgiveness.
Another example of this fear of success is the case of a seventeen-year-old athlete. Rick was doing very well in sports until he fell and severely hurt his knee. Rick realized that when his parents spanked him as a young child he had decided that he must be a bad person. Therefore, Rick concluded that he did not deserve to be successful.
I have found that men or women, who leave a relationship or other commitment, very often feel guilty. Jim, a thirty-six-year-old man, had left his wife and children two years ago. He was still feeling depressed and unhappy in his work and new relationship.
To assist Jim, I asked him to close his eyes and imagine that he was a judge in a courtroom. He was looking at an image of himself as the prisoner, who was up for parole. I said, "Judge, tell the prisoner what he did wrong and what his sentence should be." Jim replied, "You are a terrible person. You left your wife and children. I am sentencing you to a lifetime of misery!"
I continued, "Okay, Jim. Send him back to prison for life." But then the judge answered, "No! I want you to have three more years of pain." "All right," I said. Then the judge Jim continued, "No. Today is Jim's birthday. He has suffered enough. Prisoner Jim, you are free to go and be happy,"
This empowering process assisted Jim to let go of his guilt, leave his self-made prison, and go on with his life. That is what we all need to do. Only then can we believe that we deserve success and happiness. Only then can we allow ourselves to reach our goals. The truth is you deserve health, happiness, and success. Go for it!
By: Helene Rothschild
Source: http://www.articledashboard.com
©2007 Helene Rothschild, MS, MA, MFT, is a Marriage, Family Therapist, intuitive counselor, speaker, and author. The article is excerpts from her new book, "ALL YOU NEED IS HART!” She offers phone sessions, teleclasses, books, e-books, MP3 audios, tapes, posters, independent studies, and a free newsletter. www.lovetopeace.com , 1-888-639-6390.
Dreamed Of Being In Business For Yourself, But Fear Has Stopped You?
After 32 years of working in the Dental Profession...I found myself asking the same question. Dreaming about how rewarding it would be to be my own boss. This is where most people end up in life...DREAMING their life away. There are dreamers and there are achievers...success happens to those who take ACTION and truly believe that they can make their dreams come true. Be open to your dreams and don't settle for less than what you can be.
Imagine doing something that is FUN and EASY...making a simple product that is used in every home and is so appealing that it basically sells itself. FUN is the key ingredient here. If it's fun, you will persist. If you persist in something everyone enjoys and uses, you will succeed...It's that simple!
Make gifts to give from the heart
Spend quality time with family and give them moments they deserve
Find time to relax, refresh, rejuvenate and take some time just for you
Help others succeed and make their dreams come true
This product will capture a major market over the next five years
Play a global role in improving indoor air quality
Support our American Farmers
Are you living the full potential of your life? Are you dreaming of how to change your life from what it is, to all that it can be? I can help make your dreams a reality with something EASY and FUN. A life that's fulfilling, full of possibility, growth, success and passion...the unlimited potential of YOUR life!
My vision is to provide the tools that can help women empower themselves. Help them learn that with time...success will happen to those who take ACTION and passionately believe that they can make their dreams come true.
Women find working together builds relationships, which can make you feel you are involved in something bigger than yourself. Heard about the "Secret"...this is it! Talk about creating and seeing the effect of POSITIVE energy in your life.
I have been blessed to have the opportunity to study and learn from a very wonderful teacher, Dr. Ellie Drake. She has taught me to look inside myself, to stretch and grow and become the woman I was born to be. I am also proud to be one of the first founding members of her BraveHeart Women's Global Community Foundation which is a very special honor for me!
Her lessons of "It's Easier Done Than Said" has changed my life. I would like to share some of her daily reminders that assist me to live my life with ease:
PURPOSE - True purpose is to discover and resolve any blocks within myself so that my success will be richly meaningful. To pray for assistance and wisdom to step into the depth of the purpose which we wereborn.
SOUL to SOUL - Have a deeper sense of self, to look beyond others' personalities to see their deeper self. This creates true connections with others.
MIND-BODY - Continuously strive for positive thoughts. To realize that our power to remain positive increases and rewards us with feeling of vitality and longevity within our bodies. This will in turn encourage our minds to create more positive thoughts.
CHANGE - We may not be able to change everything in our life with one decision, yet are able to change the direction of our life with one decision. That direction begins to change when we start to look within ourselves.
By: Teri Bowers
Source: http://www.articledashboard.com
Businesswoman, Friend, Collaborator, and Team player, Teri Bowers fulfills her Entrepreneurial Calling by offering a great service that enriches the lives of others. Together with other fellow BraveHeart Community members, her goal is to empower Women to be multi-dimensional success stories and inspiration to others. Be Sure to Visit: Be a BraveHeart Woman
Ten Mistakes Women Make In Relationships With Men
Some women, no matter what type, have a tendency to push a man's button in the beginning of a relationship. Usually leading to the constant question "Where did I go wrong?" There are ways to avoid this, and there are ways to get your questions answered without him even realizing that he is opening up. Which is a subject in itself. I am going to keep this as short, and sweet as possible.
These are ten mistakes women tend to make with their beaus in the beginning, or start of a relationship, that usually gets the break-up ball rolling. These are in no particular order, as they can vary in damage from each man. Just try to make a little note of them, and if you catch yourself in the process of making one, step back and ask yourself if you might regret your actions later on.
1. Ladies, men generally know it is their "responsibility" to make the phone calls. They will call you if they want to talk to you. They will also return calls you have made, if they want to talk to you. Trust in this, if he is into you, he WILL call. If he doesn't, then be over it. You will only annoy him, and there is no turning back from being annoying. This has never failed, and it never will. Unless they are extremely insecure, in which case why would you bother anyway? I know it is hard to fight the urge, but this is worth it in the end.
2. I know it is tempting when your snuggled close together to want to talk about your relationship, and find out where you stand in all this madness. First off, men are more action oriented when it comes to love, the fact he is snuggling with you is his way of showing you he cares about you. Do not ruin it by trying to analyze things. You will find him scooting over and bringing that arm back from around your shoulders post haste. Talking about feelings makes it all too much a reality for a man, and he will close up. You might find a sensitive one here and there, but better safe than sorry.
3. Stop asking questions about his past girlfriends. A question or two about why they broke up is fine, you have a right to know if she tried to kill him. But, too many questions about ex-girlfriends can lead to all sorts of problems, that is including a reconciliation. You get him thinking about those good old days, and she just might be the one he calls tomorrow, instead of you.
4. Make it a habit of stepping outside yourself if you find that you have been babbling on and on. Most men will listen for a while, but when you start going into how you like to dress your cat for the fall season, you might want to just show him Fluffy's wardrobe instead of describing it for two hours.
5. Here's an important one, at least in the beginning, never shed any tears. If you've caught a sad movie, he shall find it endearing, but if you are sobbing because he forgot to hold your hand or kiss you goodbye, you are turning him off for sure.
6. This is an oldie, but a goodie. Do not be so available. If you have been out a few times, the next time he asks, say you have plans. He is not going to give up asking you out because you have a life. Also, if he says he is going out with the boys tell him how cute you think it is, and that you hope they tear it up, and have a wild time. You will score points with this, and he will be thinking about you while he is out. I guess you could say you are putting a little reverse psychology at work here, but this is almost always a fail proof tactic.
7. Okay Ladies, let's talk about Hallmark cards, greeting cards, and just about any card you can think of. (Handmade Included) Unless it's a birthday, in which case, you should get something funny and just sign your name, do not give your guy cards with a short novel written in them, or your latest poetry. This is also including those long drawn out letters. If your far away a letter is okay, but stay away from the hand to hand kind. Every man I know cringes at the thought of these. I know you want to pour your heart out, but it's too much for a man to swallow when you are first starting out. If he sends them to you, then you can send them back to him with no worries. But, this is highly unlikely, I am afraid.
8. Most men know that the "I forgot my (fill in the blank )at your place" trick, is a sham. Unless he has never had any dealings with women, he knows what you are trying to do here. If he wants you to leave your things at his place, he will say " Why don't you just leave some things here?" Otherwise, this can really creep some men out. If it really is an accident, they will know you did not mean it. It's a good idea, though, to check and make sure that you have everything to avoid him from thinking you did it on purpose by mistake.
9. Unless he asks you, DON'T show up at his work. This should be pretty self explanatory. It's a bad idea on so many levels.
10. And finally, do not bring up marriage, and all your hopes for a huge family. If he asks, trust that he is not looking for all the dreams you had when you were 12 years old about your wedding day, and the gown you designed. Do not talk about what your kids would look like, and how you would raise them together to be good caring citizens. If he initiates this kind of talk, then you can play around with the topic, but keep it a fun conversation, or he will be dreading he ever brought it up. Unless your a mail order bride, and going over your arrangements, this is something you should avoid drumming up a conversation about.
These are common mistakes made again, and again. They are made in many different ways, but almost always have the same negative result. The most important thing to remember is that men are different, and they do not move to the same beat as your drum. It's always the best attack to not be like all the other girls who made him uncomfortable, and just let him have a good time. He will quickly open up on his own. The less you force it, the more he opens it.
About the Author: A. Astralis is at Astralis Horoscopes You can read your daily horoscopes for the whole week in advance. Astrology, Numerology, Love Signs, and more.
Source: http://www.easyarticles.com
The Mirror of Relationships
Nedra, one of my clients, was quite upset when she received an email from her friend, Roxanne, ending their friendship. The email was quite blaming, telling Nedra that she was narcissistic, selfish, and uncaring. Roxanne complained that Nedra just talked about herself and was never there for Roxanne. “You don’t listen to me. You don’t care about me. You are never there for me when I need you.”
Nedra was stunned. In her experience, this was not going on at all. “I just can’t understand how she could see me this way!” she told me in our counseling session.
Nedra’s inclination was to write it off as projection. In her mind, this had nothing to do with her.
“Nedra,” I said to her, “Let’s see if we can find the lesson here. There is always something to learn from a situation like this. While this might indeed be a projection, there is some way in which it has something to do with you. I’m wondering how you might have abandoned yourself in your friendship with Roxanne.”
“Well, often I didn’t speak up for myself. Roxanne wasn’t really open, so I would go along with things to avoid conflict.”
“So you didn’t really take care of yourself in this friendship?”
“I guess I didn’t. I let a lot of things go. And recently I started to feel distant from her. I think I could feel that she wanted me to take care of her feelings so I started to pull away. She is not open to learning and, while she talks a good talk about taking responsibility for her feelings, she doesn’t really do it.”
“But it sounds like you didn’t take care of your feelings either – that you ignored your own feelings to avoid conflict with her. So I would like you to try something with this email you received from her. I would like you to pretend that your Inner Child – your feeling self - wrote it to your Adult. Pretend that it is your Inner Child who is saying, ‘You don’t listen to me. You don’t care about me. You are never there for me when I need you.’ Does this make sense to you?”
“Oh yes! I can see this! I never would have thought of it this way, but I can see that she was not taking care of her feelings so she is blaming toward me for not taking care of her, and I was not taking care of my feelings so I was pulling away from her. In a way, her letter to me is a gift to me!”
“Right. You can see that you need to be going within more, paying more attention to your own feelings. It sounds like, at least in this relationship, your focus was outward instead of within.”
“Yes, I often do this. And I can see that it never works out well. I have done the same thing in my relationships with men, and the relationships have never worked out. Okay, I’m going to start to pay more attention to my own feelings. But I’m wondering what I should do about the email? I have no idea what to say to her. I feel that I don’t want to respond to her at all.”
“Yes, I think that is appropriate. I don’t see that there is anything to say. You can send her your love and your prayers and let it go. She has made it clear that she is ending the relationship and that she is not open to learning or exploring with you. So there is nothing for you to say or do. How does that feel?”
“I actually feel relieved! I’m excited to have learned this from the letter. All my resentment is gone and I feel complete with this.”
About the Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" and “Healing Your Aloneness.” She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.
Source: http://www.easyarticles.com
