Moving to a simpler life, but where do I start?
Does the thought of simplifying your surroundings and life sound wonderful, but the challenges of the making the transition keeps you from making a change? You are not alone! Regardless of how attractive it may seem, downsizing a lifetime can be an emotional and organizational nightmare.
To assure that the transition is less stressful, consider these downsizing tips:
Start with a plan As the old adage goes "if you fail to plan you plan to fail." This is so true when it comes to planning a successful downsizing move. I recommend starting a 3-ring binder with tabs to collect all the information in one place related to your move.
Start sorting now Sorting through a lifetime of possessions can be overwhelming, but it must be done. Schedule regular sessions with yourself or with a Professional Organizer. Pick one area to start, ideally an area that you are not currently using. The important thing
is to begin and to be consistent. Decisions, decisions How do you decide what to take and what to part with? In my work with clients, I always stress visualizing and planning for the lifestyle you are transitioning to, not the lifestyle you are transitioning from. When moving to a smaller space, every item kept should have a function and a specific purpose. So let go of that 20-year-old console TV that may still work, but takes up half the room and keep the newer portable cable-ready TV that can easily fit anywhere.
Make a floor plan As soon as you have a new home confirmed, begin planning the floor plan. This makes deciding what stays and what goes so much easier. Even if you haven't decided on a specific new home yet, it's never too early to give some thought to what items you know you will take with you and plan main rooms like the living room, master bedroom and kitchen.
What to do with all the stuff? It takes time to find homes for all the stuff you will not be moving with you. By starting early you will have the time to find just the right home for your belongings. Make a list of all the items you will not be taking and begin talking with family and friends to see what they may be interested in purchasing or taking offer your hands. Also begin collecting resources like auction houses, antique stores that buy items, storage facilities and haulers.
Experience the emotions of the transition You will experience many emotions as you sort through a lifetime of memories. Moving is a transition at any age, but a downsizing move represents a transition from one lifestyle to another. All transitions contain an element of loss and excitement, as you experience once again memories of the past and anticipate the new life ahead. Expect to feel some grief along with your excitement and anticipation.
Janet Nusbaum, President of Simplified Spaces, Organizing Consultant, Senior Move Manager, Speaker, Coach, and author of 'Mom, Can I Help Around the House?' helps individuals, families and businesses to organize life and navigate transitions. To learn more and to receive Janet's FREE special report "SHELF LIFE FOR 75 COMMON HOUSEHOLD PRODUCTS", to help you decide what to keep and what to toss, visit
http://www.SimplifiedSpaces.net .
The Working Mom’s Survival Guide
Working moms often feel like they’re running two different rat races. When they’re at the office, they’re worrying about reports, meetings, deadlines, and what to wear at this evening’s cocktails. When they’re at home, they’re balancing checkbooks, checking their kids’ homework, fussing over a child’s Halloween costume, and planning what to serve for Saturday’s dinner with the in-laws.
It’s exhausting, stressful, and ultimately, confusing. Things fall through the cracks. “Oh, was it my turn to bring cookies to this month’s PTA meeting?” “Oh no, I forgot my mother’s birthday!” “What do you mean, you need a costume for tomorrow?”
Here are some tips to keep working moms on track:
* Keep a consolidated planner. While most working moms will have a business calendar, with meetings and deadlines carefully plotted, they often forget to include personal appointments like vaccination schedules, birthdays of relatives, or soccer practices. Instead of keeping your family calendar and office planner separate, keep your notes in one place. You can use color coded pencils or, for greater convenience, use a digital or online planner so you can revise your schedules neatly and efficiently.
* Don’t trust your memory. Even the most organized working mom will be hard-pressed to remember everything that needs to be completed in a given day. Leave reminders where you can see them, and where you’re most likely to look even when you’re at your most frantic. Stick post its on the dashboard of your car or bathroom mirror, not on the already overcrowded bulletin board. Tape an important document on the inner lid of your briefcase. Or better yet, set up your digital planner to send email reminders or create pop up windows on your desk top.
* Never overbook. If you find that your task list has spun out of control, and your meetings tend to overlap, then it’s a sign that you’re not allotting enough time for delays or obstacles. If you think you’ll need just one afternoon to complete the report, allocate two just in case someone schedules an emergency meeting. Then, delegate the tasks that you won’t have time for given your more realistic schedule.
* Resist the urge to do everything. Working moms, let go of the Superwoman Myth! Not only is it impossible to do every single thing, you shouldn’t. You need quality time—with your child, your partner, yourself—and that means letting go of the tasks that aren’t important. Can you enlist your sister to bake the cookies for this Saturday’s PTA conference? That gives you an extra hour to cuddle with your toddler instead of slaving in the kitchen. Can you cascade information through email instead of setting up a meeting? You save yourself (and everyone else involved) an hour where you can finish another report or clean out your files.
* Pencil in that “Me” time. When you’re stressed out and busy, you tend to put yourself last on the list, just to be able to keep up with your responsibilities to other people. This is the worst decision you can make. The busier you are, the more you need to recharge, even if it’s half an hour soaking in the tub, or sneaking to the parlor to get your toenails painted pink. Work hard, but play hard too—you deserve it.
About the Author: Philip Nicosia is the webmaster of Onlinereminders.net, a free online reminder service.
Source: http://www.easyarticles.com
The Best Way To Organize Your Day
Many people use a to-do list to help organize their day. While it is true that any to-do list is better than having none, there is a "best way" to use to-do lists to maximize your productivity.
Most people either put too little on their to-do list or they put too much. If you put too little then you are not really organizing yourself and the list will be of little help. If you put too much then that can have two potential problems; either you have so much that you haven't really provided any organizing structure or you have so much that just looking at it over whelms you.
The solution to this problem is to use the Six Key Activities System. This concept of working to a list of six key activities was first developed around one hundred years ago and has be refined since then into a highly efficient system.
The story goes that Charles Schwab, the president of the largest steel company in the world at that time, was approached by a man with the original six key activities system. He told Schwab to write day the six most important objectives for his day, then prioritize them, and then focus on achieving those six goals. Any that he did not achieve in the day he was to move to top priority on the next day's list of six.
This man suggested that Schwab try this system for 30 days and then pay him what he thought the advice had been worth. Schwab did this and at the end of the 30 days paid the man $25,000. At this time in history most workers were earning less than $1,000 per year so $25,000 was a fortune. If the president of one of the largest companies in the world thinks this simple system was so valuable to him then perhaps you should be using it too.
In the hundred years that has past since then we have learned a lot about how the human mind works and as a result have further refined this brilliant system. Here is how it is used today.
Always prepare your list at the end of the day before. Science has discovered that the subconscious mind spends approximately half of your sleeping time in digesting the day's events and organizing them into patterns that will determine how you operate in life. If you prepare your list at the end of the day then that list will become a part of the subconscious organizing and will therefore be easier to accomplish the next day.
Here's the way to do it.
Step 1: You start by reviewing the just completed day and ask yourself what you achieved and whether or not those achievements took you a step closer to your goal.
Step 2: Brainstorm everything that you have to do the next day and make sure that you include actions toward your major goals.
Step 3: Read your list and see how many of those things you can delegate to someone else.
Step 4: Select the six most important items and place them in order of priority on your Six Key Actions list.
Step 5: Start each day by reading over your Six Key Action list that you prepared the day before.
Step 6: Focus on achieving those six key items during the day. As you complete each task mark it off and jot down a brief result of your actions.
Step 7: Start the process again at the end of the day. If you have any items left on your list make sure that they are the top priority on your next day list.
If you make a habit of following this simple seven step process then you will discover why Charles Schwab happily paid ten times the average wage for this valuable productivity system.
By: James Delrojo
Source: http://www.articledashboard.com
James Delrojo would like to help you by giving you his ebook "Unleash the Success Power of Your Mind" (valued at $27) completely FREE. Go to www.YourSuccessMind.com
Clutter Busters: Simple Strategies For Cleaning Up Your Act
With of the biggest challenges couples and families face is CLUTTER, both dealing with it and avoiding it. But, according to experts, there's really no need to stress over "mess", especially if you learn how to clean up your act, BEFORE it gets out of control
1. Front and Center: Deal with items such as loose change, keys, mail, etc. right at the front door. Consider a console or nearby shelf on the wall on which to place things neatly and out of the way. And, don't forget to sort mail immediately tossing anything you'd consider junk (though that doesn't include bills).
2. Go Barefoot On The Parquet: Okay, one of my biggest pet peeves is taking shoes off at the front door. After all, if you're visiting someone or attending a house party, shoes are part of the ESSENTIAL accessories that make and complete the outfit. Taking them off just makes the ensemble look, well, "silly". Still, I'll have to admit that for the "casual" get- together or on a daily basis, keeping the floors clean may not be such a great feat, if friends and family leave their shoes at the door and walk around in bare or stockingeed feet.
3. Book Ban: Get rid of old books and magazines that are piling up on the table, nightstand, or on the office or living room floor. Consider donating books to hospitals, hospices, nursing homes or to your local library. You can donate magazines to your local salon, doctor's or dentist's office. Organize books and magazines you intend to keep on shelves or in a smart magazine file.
4. Counter Countertop Clutter: Make it a "ritual" to clear off tabletops and countertops when you are finished using them or before you retire for the evening. And, don't let things pile up. Also make sure to have a safe storage spot for remotes and think about getting a universal one to program most of your entertainment systems, limiting the confusion and the clutter.
5. Fun And Games: No doubt children want and need toys, but they certainly don't need to have them "everywhere". Make sure you clean up after really small children or help youngsters clean up after themselves. Have a designated play area in your home and a storage crate to hold the essentials... and think about color-coding each crate for each child.
6. Take A Load Off Doing The Laundry: Make sure everyone knows to put their clothes in a hamper (not on the floor) when they are dirty or when they take them off. And, make sure you separate whites, darks, and colors beforehand. Finally, consider doing a load of laundry in small increments, before each basket is full, to avoid laundry overload.
7. Learn To Bottle Things Up: Open bags can take up lots of space and simply look messy. Consider instead storing chips, nuts, etc. in pretty glass (or plastic) containers that can be moved from room to room, offer airtight storage, can easily be stored or displayed.
8. Stop Playing Hide And Seek With Your Hardware: Instead of rummaging through boxes, drawers, etc. for the necessary, nut, bolts and screwdrivers, consider investing in a pegboard. You can buy a sheet at your local hardware store and hang it on an "inconspicuous" wall, then purchase the accompanying accessories designed to help you organize.
Article Source: http://www.articlesnatch.com
About the Author:
LIFamilies.com - Family community for Long Island, NY
Organizing For Dollars
With the success of EBay and the increasing cost of running a household, everyone should see dollar signs when they look at things in their home! Unorganized homes cost money! When was the last time you REALLY got your home cleaned out and organized?
How does that unorganized home cost you money? When you can’t find something, you tend to buy a new one. If you can’t find tax paperwork when the IRS calls you for an audit THAT will cost you money! When you lose bills in piles of paperwork and get hit with that late charge THAT just cost you money! Running around trying to find things you KNOW you have but can’t find costs you time and energy and that usually costs money. Knowing where your home owner’s insurance policy is when that hurricane is bearing down on you is a critical thing!
Being organized allows you to know what you do NOT need and if that’s the case get rid of it. If you have things you want to get rid of consider donating them to charitable organizations (remember to get a receipt for the donations if you can itemize). Recently, I donated old glasses to an organization that collects them for the needy. I donated stuffed animals to the state police (no receipt here but it was a good cause!) for children in accidents or children pulled out of abusive homes. I sent several nice suits to a local organization that helps dress women for interviews (frequently these women are on state aid and coming out of education programs and can’t afford nice interview clothes). When you REALLY start to look around you, there are plenty of great programs and people who are desperate for those things that you do NOT need!
Now, you might prefer to get cash for those extras you have. EBay is huge these days! Although I’ve never done this and can’t offer any advice or help, a quick inquiry in a search engine will pull up lots of free help.
Another get-cash option is holding a tag-sale. You can do this with several other families in a well seen location or maybe haul what you have to a flea market. I, personally, take my stuff to our local flea market because there is serious traffic there and I can do very well.
How do you get organized? Trust me, don’t do it all in one day. Stay focused on ONE thing at a time. Don’t start the garage at 4 o’clock in the afternoon. Pick jobs that fit the time frame. If you have an hour, maybe clean out a few drawers, a kitchen counter that collects paperwork, or a few cookbooks you KNOW you haven’t used in five years! Keep boxes for the stuff you find. Mark one for the garbage, one for donations and one for “not sure” stuff. Feed boxes well! Make sure to file paperwork accordingly and keep important paperwork together and in properly marked envelopes or file organizer. Put the “not sure” box aside for 6 months. If you haven’t used it or needed it in that time frame, consider moving it to the garbage box or donation box
Do you have kids who don’t want to part with any unused toys? Consider getting them into the clean out by showing them how their unused toys could make a child in a homeless shelter or an abused woman’s shelter, very happy. I know our church sends small toys to Haiti through Haiti Project (read, all those Happy Meal toys!). Less in the landfills and a smile on a child’s face, somewhere! Show them how their donated toys can raise money for the Salvation Army or other relief organizations that were there when Katrina hit. You might end up cleaning out a lot of stuff by showing them that it really is better to give than receive.
Bottom line, look around your home and decide what you need, what you want and then what you should get rid of. Make the most of what you get rid of either by donating it or selling it. Then look around and give yourself a pat on your back for cleaning out and organizing your life and your home and count the cash (from your sale or tax refund) and those good feelings you get by giving to some great causes.
Article Directory: http://www.articledashboard.com
Tammy Paquin is a work from home mom of 3 and the publisher of Frugal Families, online support and resources for your family, finances, budget and frugality.
7 Tips to help you to Organize Your Life
By: Paul Winter
1. Find time to have fun. Always remember that it is important to find time for yourself. Make some engagements for yourself and make the most out of them. You have to cherish the free schedules that you have allotted for yourself. You can go out with your family and enjoy every moment spent with them.
2. Do not think too much of things that you think are difficult to accomplish. Make yourself relax and set your mind in a comfortable mood. You might be pressured and stressed if you think a lot of the hard items rather than thinking of finishing them. You can start doing the hard items first on your list. The other tasks will then follow much easier than the first one.
3. You can make notes to set an organized time. You may always bring with you your notebook and pen so that you can take down the important ideas or engagements that may pass in your mind. These can help you remember the things you may want to do, instead of realizing it later or you may even forget it along the way.
4. Do things once. An item must be handled only once. You can read the file and you may review it again to someone else. It is important that you understand the file so that you do not have to get back on it again. If you are done, there is no need to include it anymore in the many piles of papers that are on your table.
5. Telephone calls may just consume time if there are unnecessary things that are being brought up in your conversation. You may limit the time by directly pointing out the issues that are to be discussed.
6. Be systematic. Most of the time, you use so much of your time finding a particular thing. Sometimes you tend to forget the other things that you need to accomplish for that day because your time was focused on searching for things. You may create a system that is applicable and effective in your daily tasks. Use it for your own good; you may just realize that there are more times that you can have a rest.
7. Do things that make you happy and feel life’s most precious times. Enjoy walking around in your garden with your kids. You may go to the mall and watch a movie, or you may even play your favorite sport. It is important in one’s life to allot some time for yourself. Think of it as a prize to the pressures and stress you get from work.
Article Source: http://www.articlesnatch.com
About the Author:
Visit ArticlesRus.Net For more tips on organising your home and office.
Organize Life & Business~ 5 Simple Steps to Get Organized & Get Energized
“Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it is not all mixed up." A. A. Milne
In personal development growth occurs more easily when we create space to grow. In order to experience living beyond limits in business or personal lives we must rid ourselves of the chaos and clutter that keeps us clogged up. To change life and business begin by getting organized.
1- Know Your Top Priority Zones
Focus on 3 to 5. Top priority zones are the most valuable areas of your life. Consider the roles you play throughout the day. What means the most to you long-term? Examples are spirituality, self-care, family, business, career, home, education, hobbies, volunteer work, etc. To make the best time management decisions know your priorities. You will be challenged by a new opportunity. Does it honor your priorities? If not, say 'no' for now.
Under each top priority zone list the top 3-5 priorities. For instance, under self-care you could have exercise, take vitamins, eat 5 fruits/ vegetables, read for 30 minutes, and drink 8 glasses of water daily. The more you can simplify and get focused the better.
2- Schedule Blocks of Time
Blocks of time for your various priority zones give you time and a clear focus on the priorities in each area. Consider how much time you need and how much you can commit to each priority. When is the best time of day to schedule it so that you follow through? Customize your schedule to fit your energy level and personality so your time is used efficiently.
3- Now you can create your "to do" list or "toleration" list
What are you putting up with that needs to be handled. Get it out of your head and into a system such as a list, daytimer, palm pilot, blackberry, computer, etc. Plan to do it, delegate it, or dump it. What can you let go of? Give yourself permission to let go so you can focus on what will make the greatest difference.
4- Systematize
Create systems that save you time and make life easier. If there is an area not working for you chances are it is in need of a simple system. How often are you running to the store and what can you do to make one trip? When you buy something new, get rid of something old so your closets never get packed. How can you spend less time waiting in lines, managing e-mail, and handling paperwork? What marketing system can you put in place so you know exactly what to do each day. Create a home for everything so you know exactly where items go. Instead of items landing where they were left have a designated space for office supplies, a space for hardware, etc. Pick up more ideas at www.StartingNowCoaching.com .
5- Set Yourself Up for Peak Performance
Take regular breaks to rejuvenate. In the book the Power of Full Engagement: Managing Energy, Not Time is the Key to High Performance and Personal Renewal, the authors Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz suggest taking 10 minute breaks every 90 minutes. Get plenty of sleep and choose healthy energy sources vs. adrenaline for endurance. By the way...I hope you chose self-care as one of your top priorities.
Take a day off, get help, do what it takes to organize your life and business. Save time doing what you don't like and more time doing what gets you pumped. That's when you will bubble over sharing the special gifts you have to offer and we will all be better off. StartingNow!
Copyright 2006, Beth A. Tabak, All rights reserved.
About the Author: Beth Tabak of www.StartingNowCoaching.com is committed to small business coaching & personal life coaching. She is also a speaker and columnist. Beth coaches big thinkers to move beyond limits, stand out in the crowd, and experience the vastness of their capabilities. Stop by to see all the gifts available to you and say "hello".
Source: www.easyarticles.com
Energy Boosters
I needed to learn about energy boosters. Fatigue and a lack of energy have been problems for all my life. In an effort to find out why, I've asked doctors, read books, and finally decided that some questions just won't be answered in my lifetime.
Fortunately, I've also learned that even without discovering the root causes of my tiredness, there are things I can do to alleviate it. Below are some of energy boosters that have worked for me and others over the years. Try them to see which work best for you, and use more than one at a time if necessary.
Ten Energy Boosters
1. Energetic music. Different types of music have different effects on us, but you can learn which are best for you by trial and error. Once you find the music that wakes you up, keep it ready. Keep a tape in your car, and a CD in the player at home.
2. Sleep better. The research seems to show that as long as you get at least five hours of sleep, the quality is more important than the quantity. Try drinking something warm before bed, or relax with a simple meditation.
3. Talk about something interesting. Have you ever seen a tired person start to talk about something they're passionate about, and suddenly "wake up." It's a powerful technique you can use for yourself. Have a few "favorite" subjects that get you going.
4. Coffee. For some of us, caffeine makes us more tired when it's abused, but short-term, it can work wonders.
5. Deep breathing. Several slow deep breaths help oxygenate the blood supply better, and especially seems to wake up the brain.
6. Have an "energy drink." The verdict isn't in on most of them, but it's a cheap option to try. I seem to get something from the ones with Ginkgo Biloba in them.
7. Move your body. Sometimes just getting up and washing the dishes, or walking around the house helps boost energy levels.
8. Exercise. It's not a quick solution, but many people notice an increase in their energy level when they get regular aerobic exercise.
9. Hot and cold shower. Try a minute of hot water, then a minute of cold, alternating for six minutes. This isn't for those with weak hearts, but it will wake you up. Incidentally, research shows that this also revs up the immune system.
10. Get outside. Often, a little sunshine and fresh air can be very energizing.
Write down the techniques that work for you when you find them, to remind yourself to use them. Of course you should try to find the reasons for your tiredness or fatigue. You may have more luck than I. In the meantime, though, why not try a few of these enrgy boosters?
Source: www.easyarticles.com
About the Author: Steve Gillman writes on many topics including brainpower, weight loss, meditation, habits of mind, creative problem solving, generating luck and anything related to self improvement. Learn more and get FREE e-courses at http://www.SelfImprovementNow.com
First Key to Self Mastery: Response-Ability
In the previous article I showed how you can skillfully communicate negative emotions in a way that deepens your relationships, instead of creating havoc as it usually happens. Today I am going to focus on one of three keys to self mastery - owning the responsibility. The trainers at our University all agree - if we were able to change only one thought pattern in the world, it would have to be giving back to everyone full responsibility for their actions, thoughts and emotions. It's that important.
What is responsibility and why is it important? Response-ability is very simply your ability to respond to the world. Whenever you claim responsibility, your claim your power to do, to influence, to act, to change. Whenever you deny responsibility, you deny your power to respond, leaving yourself powerless. For example, if you say: "He made me angry," - you imply that the anger was creating in you by him. If you say: "The leaky faucet irritates me," - you imply that the irritation was created in you by the dripping water. In plain language you are saying that how you feel was caused by someone or something else. These shifts of responsibility away from yourself are perversions of reality (a more technical term is distortion of reality). Another name for shifting responsibility is blaming.
Blaming exists because it is an effective way to manipulate people. The often unconscious logic of blaming goes like this: "I feel bad, you are responsible for making me feel bad, now you are responsible for making me feel good. In any case, you owe me a favor." Clearly spelled out this way it becomes obvious that blaming is just a power game. There is also an additional piece of helplessness to it: "Since you caused my feelings, they are out of my control. I am helpless to change anything and no effort is required from me." So, blaming is a way to preserve status quo and to transfer all responsibility for change to another party. Highly manipulative and effective in the short run. Highly disempowering in the long run.
Seems simple? Then think how many times in the last week have you said to yourself: "This is annoying" or "This is upsetting" or a similar phrase? Denying response-ability every time. Next time try this phrase instead: "I am choosing to feel annoyed" or "I am deciding to feel upset". If someone in your presence says: "She is pissing me off", help them out by asking: "Why are you deciding to feel pissed off?" Be careful with such phrasing though, many people are so stuck in the constant cycles of blaming-helplessness, that they will not even understand what you mean at first.
I would like to start an empowering mental virus of personal responsibility. Here is how it works. First, forward this article to the people you spend most of your time with - friends, family, colleagues. Then, after they have read it, agree with each other to call out the refusal of personal responsibility, whenever you notice it. So, if you hear each other say something that denies responsibility, call it out: "You are choosing to be powerless right now." See how fast you learn to notice and re-claim your response-ability to the world.
You’ve just read TIP #81 FOR CREATING AN EXTRAORDINARY AND MEANINGFUL LIFE brought to you by Holographic University. To get the next Tip visit us at:
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May You Be Happy!
- Arman Darini, Ph.D.
Source: www.easyarticles.com
About the Author: Arman Darini, Ph.D. is the director of Holographic University, the author of weekly Tips for Creating an Extraordinary and Meaningful Life, and a certified international NLP Trainer. As the leader of a dynamic team of Life Trainers and Coaches, Arman's motto is "I don't believe in your limitations". To learn more about Arman, visit ArmanDarini.com
Are You Stuck in Your Life?
Are you constantly reading self-help and motivational books yet nothing changes? Have you tried many different forms of therapy yet still feel unhappy, anxious, depressed and alone? Do you often have the answers for others but not for yourself?
The problem may be that you are intent on “fixing” problems rather than learning about what is in your highest good and taking the loving action. You will stay stuck when fixing is more important than learning and taking action.
Many people are information addicts – reading everything they can in the hopes of finding the right answer to their problems. Yet even when they do come across something they can do to make things better, they don’t do it. They stay in their head trying to figure it out rather than take the actions they need to take. This would be like reading everything you can about exercise and thinking about exercising, yet not taking the action of actually exercising.
I run into this issue all the time with my clients. The Six Step Inner Bonding process that we teach is a powerful process for getting unstuck, as well as for healing the underlying issues that keep people stuck. Many people will read my books and even have sessions with me, yet are completely resistant to actually practicing the process. They can spout the theory and even teach it to others, but because they are not practicing it, nothing changes for them.
For example, Jonathon sought my help because of his depression over money. Jonathon is a person who reads everything, yet nothing works for him. His business is falling apart and so is his marriage.
In my first session with Jonathon, I heard his endless negative self-talk. “Nothing will ever change for me. I will always be a loser. The things that work for other people will never work for me. I am going to end up on the streets. It has always been this way for me and always will be. Other people are lucky but I am not.” On and on he went. No wonder he was so anxious and depressed!
I asked him to imagine that he was saying these negative things to his actual child.
“I would never say things like that to him – it would scare him.”
“Yet this is what you are constantly saying to your own inner child. You are constantly scaring yourself with your negative self-talk.”
“I know. I treat myself really badly. But I can’t seem to stop. I’ve read your books and I understand the Inner Bonding process, but I don’t think it can help me.”
“Have you tried it?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t think it will help me. I don’t think it will work.”
Jonathan wants a magic pill to fix him. He doesn’t want to have to take the action that will help him. His negative self-talk is a form of control. He believes that if he beats himself up enough, he will somehow get himself to change. He believes that beating himself up will fix things. He is as addicted to negativity as someone else might be addicted to alcohol, and it won’t solve his problems any more than alcohol will.
Jonathan doesn’t want to know that his negative self-talk is what is causing his problems. He doesn’t want to know that he is actually the creator of his own life and that he is creating what he doesn’t want instead of what he does want. He doesn’t want to know that his anxiety and other painful feelings are his natural inner guidance system letting him know that he is off course in this thinking. He doesn’t want to take responsibility for his own thoughts and feelings and for what he creates in his life.
Until Jonathan is willing to take responsibility for his thoughts and his actions or lack of action, he will stay stuck in resistance, stuck being a victim.
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About the Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" and “Healing Your Aloneness.” She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.
How To Develop Creative Thinking
By: Esther Andrews
In my opinion, creativity is the real genius. Intelligent children learn fast, and apply their knowledge in everyday life situations. But - inventing something new, creating something original, that is real genius. I always admire originality, whether it is original artwork, an original story, or an invention that can make life easier for many people.
How can we teach our children creative thinking? How can we teach them the habit of thinking "outside the box"? Here are a few easy and fun suggestions for activities that will go a long way toward developing this very valuable skill of creative thinking in your child. Slight adjustments may be needed for your child's age and skill.
1. Play the following game: one person starts telling a story. He stops after a few sentences, and the next player continues his story. There is no limit to the number of players. It is a great idea to record the story, so that it can be distributed to the participants later, for the enjoyment of everyone. This is a very fun activity that trains your child (and you too, if you are participating) to think creatively.
2. Prepare a series of pictures. The pictures can be taken from a book, from several books, from newspapers - or even downloaded from the Internet and printed on a home printer. Put the pictures next to each other, and let your child tell a story, using those pictures. You can take turns, your child and you, developing the story based on the pictures. This game can have several variations: put the pictures face down on the table, then turn them over one by one, to continue the story. Gradually increase the speed of turning the pictures over, so that the story teller has to come up with the story continuation faster and faster. When you are done with a set of pictures, just change the order, and see if your child can come up with a different story, based on the new order.
3. Prepare a series of words written on cards. Play the same game - tell a story using these words. You can use the same variations as above.
4. Play a piece of classical music, and let your child tell you what kind of mood does this music create, what kind of story does this music tell?
5. Play a piece of music, and have your child paint a picture that shows the mood this music creates, or tells the story this music is telling.
6. When your child comes up with a story in one of the previous activities, ask your child to change the story in order to change the mood. For example, if the story is sad - can he change the story to be happy? Can he change it to be a mystery? Can he change it to be a comedy, or a funny story?
7. When reading a book with your child, always ask open ended and thought provoking questions like: How would you handle this situation? What could the character do differently? How do you think did the character feel?
8. Print several pictures on paper. (You can use cardboard if you'd like to make the pieces more durable). Cut each picture into 9 parts (or more, if you want to make this game more complex). Now let your child put the pictures back together. After putting all pieces back together into the original pictures, you can mix the pieces, so that your child can create new pictures, combining pieces from different pictures. Start with two pictures mixed together,and advance to more and more pictures. Start with bigger pieces, cutting the picture into 4 parts only, and advance to smaller and smaller pieces, cutting the picture into more and more pieces. Also, use more and more complicated pictures, that include more details.
9. Play "pretend" games with your child often, or use "role playing" with your child. When you read a story, ask your child to play the role of his favorite character.
10. When your child has friends visiting, have them come up with a short play and perform it for the parents. This is always a fun activity for the children, and it also keeps them very busy.
11. Encourage your child to paint a picture of an object. Then have him paint it in different colors. For example, ask your child to paint or draw a bunch of fruit. Then have him change the colors of all the fruit. Have a red banana, yellow apple and so forth.
12. Choose a day a week, and have all family members do their routine activities in a different way. For example, brush their teeth in a different way than usual. Take a different way to school. Sing instead of talking. Get up earlier, and play a new game. Walk backwards... Be creative, and encourage your child to be creative too.
13. Don't ever discourage your child from using his imagination. If your child tells an imaginary story, always praise him and acknowledge the creativity. If your child comes up with an original answer to a question, even if the answer is incorrect, acknowledge creative thinking.
14. Keep your eyes open for any signs of creativity and originality. Always praise and encourage these traits.
Have fun, and enjoy! To your child's creativity!
Article Source: http://www.articlecube.com
www.all-gifted-children.com. For the last 27 years Esther Andrews has specialized in gifted education and grew 2 profoundly gifted children herself. In her "The Manual Your Child Should Have Come With - How to Develop Your Child's Genius" she is teaching parents how to grow gifted children. www.all-gifted-children.com/package.htm
