FEAR AND REASON.
"In civilized life it has at last become possible for large numbers of people to pass from the cradle to the grave without ever having had a pang of genuine fear. Many of us need an attack of mental disease to teach us the meaning of the word." William James.
We have all heard the seemingly discriminating remarks that fear is normal and abnormal, and that normal fear is to be regarded as a friend, while abnormal fear should be destroyed as an enemy.
The fact is that no so called normal fear can be named which has not been clearly absent in some people who have had every cause therefor. If you will run over human history in your mind, or look about yea in the present life, you will find here and there persons who, in situations or before objects which ought, as any fearful soul will insist, to inspire the feeling of at least normal self-protecting fear, are nevertheless wholly without the feeling. They possess every feeling and thought demanded except fear. The idea of self-preservation is as strongly present as with the most abjectly timid or terrified, but fear they do not know. This fearless awareness of fear suggesting conditions may be due to several causes. It may result from constitutional make-up, or from long continued training or habituation, or from religious ecstasy, or from a perfectly calm sense of spiritual selfhood which is unhurtable, or from the action of very exalted reason. Whatever the explanation, the fact remains: the very causes which excite fear in most of us, merely appeal, with such people, if at all. to the instinct of self-preservation and to reason, the thought-element of the soul which makes for personal peace and wholeness.
Banish all fear.
It is on such considerations that I have come to hold that all real fear-feeling should and may be banished from our life, and that what we call "normal fear" should be substituted in our language by "instinct" or by "reason," the element of fear being dropped altogether.
"Everyone can testify that the psychical state called fear consists of mental representations of certain painful results" (James). The mental representations may be very faint as such, but the idea of hurt to self is surely present. If, then, it can be profoundly believed that the real self cannot be hurt; if the reason can be brought to consider vividly and believingly all quieting considerations; if the self can be held consciously in the assurance that the White Life surrounds the true self, and is surely within that self, and will suffer "no evil to come nigh," while all the instincts of self preservation may be perfectly active, fear itself must be removed "as far as the east is from the west."
These are the ways, then, in which any occasion for fear may be divided:
As a warning and as a maker of panic. But let us say that the warning should be understood as given to reason, that fear need not appear at all, and that the panic is perfectly useless pain. With these discriminations in mind, we may now go on to a preliminary study of fear.
preliminary study of fear.
Fear is (a) an impulse, (b) a habit, (c) a disease.
Fear, as it exists in man, is a make-believe of sanity, a creature of the imagination, a state of insanity.
Furthermore, fear is, now of the nerves, now of the mind, now of the moral consciousness.
The division depends upon the point of view. What is commonly called normal fear should give place to reason, using the word to cover instinct as well as thought. From the correct point of view all fear is an evil so long as entertained.
Whatever its manifestations, wherever its apparent location, fear is a psychic state, of course, reacting upon the individual in several ways: as, in the nerves, in mental moods, in a single impulse, in a chronic habit, in a totally unbalanced condition. The reaction has always a good intention, meaning, in each case, "Take care! Danger!" You will see that this is so if you will look for a moment at three comprehensive kinds of fear fear of self, fear for self, fear for others. Fear of self is indirectly fear for self danger. Fear for others signifies foresensed or forepictured distress to self because of anticipated misfortune to others. I often wonder whether, when we fear for others, it is distress to self or hurt to them that is most emphatically in our thought.
Fear, then, is usually regarded as the soul's danger signal. But the true signal is instinctive and thoughtful reason.
Even instinct and reason, acting as warning, may perform their duty abnormally, or assume abnormal proportions. And then we have the feeling of fear. The normal warning is induced by actual danger apprehended by mind in a state of balance and self-control. Normal mind is always capable of such warning. There are but two ways in which so-called normal fear, acting in the guise of reason, may be annihilated: by the substitution of reason for fear, and by the assurance of the white life.
Let it be understood, now, that by normal fear is here meant normal reason real fear being denied place and function altogether. Then we may say that such action of reason is a benefactor to man. It is, with pain and weariness, the philanthropy of the nature of things within us.
One person said: "Tired? No such word in my house!" Now this cannot be a sound and healthy attitude. Weariness, at a certain stage of effort, is a signal to stop work. When one becomes so absorbed in labor as to lose consciousness of the feeling of weariness, he has issued a "hurry call" on death. I do not deny that the soul may cultivate a sublime sense of buoyancy and power; rather do I urge you to seek that beautiful condition; but I hold that when a belief or a hallucination refuses to permit you to hear the warning of nerves and muscles, Nature will work disaster inevitably. Let us stand for the larger liberty which is joyously free to take advantage of everything Nature may offer for true well-being. There is a partial liberty which tries to realize itself by denying various realities as real; there is a higher liberty which really realizes itself by conceding such realities as real and by using or disusing them as occasion may require in the interest of the self at its best. I hold this to be true wisdom: to take advantage of everything which evidently promises good to the self, without regard to this or that theory, and freely to use all things, material or immaterial, reasonable or spiritual. I embrace your science or your method; but I beg to ignore your bondage to philosophy or to consistency. So I say that to normal health the weary-sense is a rational command to replenish exhausted nerves and muscles.
It is not liberty, it is not healthful, to declare, "There is no pain!" Pain does exist, whatever you affirm, and your affirmation that it does not is proof that it does exist, for why (and how) declare the non-existence of that which actually is non-existent? But if you say, "As a matter of fact I have pain, but I am earnestly striving to ignore it, and to cultivate thought-health so that the cause of pain may be removed," that is sane and beautiful. This is the commendable attitude of the Bible character who cried: "Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief." To undertake swamping pain with a cloud of psychological fog that is to turn anarchist against the good government of Nature. By pain Nature informs the individual that he is somewhere out of order. This warning is normal. The feeling becomes abnormal in the mind when imagination twangs the nerves with reiterated irritation, and Will, confused by the discord and the psychic chaos, cowers and shivers with fear.
I do not say there is no such thing as fear. Fear does exist. But it exists in your life by your permission only, not because it is needful as a warning against "evil."
Fear is induced by unduly magnifying actual danger, or by conjuring up fictitious dangers through excessive and misdirected psychical reactions. This also may be taken as a signal of danger, but it is a falsely-intentioned witness, for it is not needed, is hostile to the individual because it threatens self-control and it absorbs life's forces in useless and destructive work when they ought to be engaged in creating values.
Fear That I Do Not Deserve Success
Are you striving for personal and professional success and not reaching your goals? Do you feel you deserve success? Could it be that you feel guilty about something you did or did not do that is causing you to feel bad about yourself and sabotage all your efforts?
I am convinced that 99% of us are blocking our health, happiness, and success because we do not believe we deserve it. I learned about this common unconscious fear as I was counseling clients as a Marriage, Family Therapist. I was surprised to discover that this negative thought was preventing men, women, and children from reaching their goals.
When I assisted clients of all ages to overcome this major self-defeating thought, they were able to make the changes they desired.
I also know that we are all basically good, because clients who were not even caught doing something wrong still felt guilty, and punished themselves by sabotaging their success.
An example of this is Joan, a fifty-year-old woman, who made a lot of money and then lost it all. To help Joan, I guided her through the HART process (Holistic And Rapid Transformation). I asked her to close her eyes and say, "I can't be successful, because ____," and finish the sentence. Joan replied, "I can't be successful, because I am bad." I then said, "Go back the time you decided that you were bad." Joan saw herself stealing money out of her parents' cash register when she was ten years old. No one caught her, but she still felt guilty, and she was punishing herself forty years later.
I then asked Joan to imagine that her parents were there in the store and to speak to them. She said, "Mom and Dad, I am really sorry. Please forgive me." Then Joan imagined that they were forgiving her and she forgave herself. At that point, she sighed with relief and said, "Wow! I have been carrying that around for a long time."
We can feel guilty about anything no matter how long ago it happened. It is important to become aware of anything we believe was wrong. Then we can stop punishing ourselves by letting it go with forgiveness.
Another example of this fear of success is the case of a seventeen-year-old athlete. Rick was doing very well in sports until he fell and severely hurt his knee. Rick realized that when his parents spanked him as a young child he had decided that he must be a bad person. Therefore, Rick concluded that he did not deserve to be successful.
I have found that men or women, who leave a relationship or other commitment, very often feel guilty. Jim, a thirty-six-year-old man, had left his wife and children two years ago. He was still feeling depressed and unhappy in his work and new relationship.
To assist Jim, I asked him to close his eyes and imagine that he was a judge in a courtroom. He was looking at an image of himself as the prisoner, who was up for parole. I said, "Judge, tell the prisoner what he did wrong and what his sentence should be." Jim replied, "You are a terrible person. You left your wife and children. I am sentencing you to a lifetime of misery!"
I continued, "Okay, Jim. Send him back to prison for life." But then the judge answered, "No! I want you to have three more years of pain." "All right," I said. Then the judge Jim continued, "No. Today is Jim's birthday. He has suffered enough. Prisoner Jim, you are free to go and be happy,"
This empowering process assisted Jim to let go of his guilt, leave his self-made prison, and go on with his life. That is what we all need to do. Only then can we believe that we deserve success and happiness. Only then can we allow ourselves to reach our goals. The truth is you deserve health, happiness, and success. Go for it!
By: Helene Rothschild
Source: http://www.articledashboard.com
©2007 Helene Rothschild, MS, MA, MFT, is a Marriage, Family Therapist, intuitive counselor, speaker, and author. The article is excerpts from her new book, "ALL YOU NEED IS HART!” She offers phone sessions, teleclasses, books, e-books, MP3 audios, tapes, posters, independent studies, and a free newsletter. www.lovetopeace.com , 1-888-639-6390.
5 Dazzling Ways to Make Any Woman Fall In Love With You
"I don't get it!..."
"I've a nice car. I'm accomplished. My A-List CV make the next guy look funky. I even
wear the latest Armani! Why doesn't she flip for me? Why am I always alone??"
STOP!
How many times did you pound the dashboard of your Corvette bewailing this persistent question?
The avenue to Romance is littered with roadkill hearts and unrequited love.If you think you're unique in your loneliness, think again. There is enough dashboard pounding out there to start a global orchestra of dire distress.
But don't despair. Before you spin out of control, deploy the airbags fast. These strategic maneuvers should cruise you back on track:
1) Dress to Kill - all the time: No I don't intend that You wear that $5000 suit to the grocers or the Rolex to walk the dog. What I want you to do is is to dress decently each time you hit the streets. Dab on some cologne. Be neatly shaven. Men, women are everywhere. If you dress with flash only at the bar or the party, you're missing out on 95% of eligible women. Some of the best relationships were forged during chance encounters at the bus stop.
2) Bedroom Eyes - When exploring new relationships with that sexy stranger, intensify the eye contact. Lock deep into her pupils. Let the rest of the world disappear even as a horde of supermodels troop by. You will naturally thrill her with the attention as she experiences the tendrils of growing attraction. Ethnologists have a term for it, the copulatory gaze. Get your eyes even sexier by enlargening your pupils. Dr. Hess concluded that dilated pupils are far far more attractive to women after he presented hundreds of assorted pictures of men to test subjects. How does one get the pupils popping? Simply gaze at the most alluring parts of her face and fill your mind with loving caring thoughts. Your pupils naturally grow, endowing you with irresistible eyes.
3) Visual Caress - Get your eyes do some facial travelling as you chat. Linger a bit on the nose, traipse across the eyes and rest at the lips. Drink in her facial features as though you were admiring the Mona Lisa. She will delight in the attention!
4) Easter Eggs - Stumped at having nothing to say? Listen carefully for easter eggs as you talk. These are unusual words of phrases that she utters. Ask her to expound on it. Say "What's the story behind that?" or "How do you feel about that?". Women love to be probed for their opinions and their feelings.Gently bring out her emotions with sensitive open-ended questions.
5) Keep it Adrenaline Charged - Men talk facts: stock figures, bill payments, and boring engine specs. Women are different. They delight in FEELINGS TALK: how the new dress takes them to 7th heaven, how that special meal got them all giddy with ecstasy, how their shopping expedition drains their deepest problems away. Leverage this by steering away from facts talk. Pick out emotionally charged subjects and ask her how she especially relates to them. You'll be her new confidant!
I know what you're thinking. It's all common sense! That's true, but ask yourself this: how many of you actually practice this? Be honest.
Get out there and be the man women loves. Use your common sense!
Source: www.easyarticles.com
About the Author: ***
Joseph R. Plazo is founder of Exceed Global, JobCentralAsia and Empowered Development. After achieving financial independence at 22, he authored five NLP books, engaged in pro-bono mentoring and indulged in his passion for radionics. Always to take the initiative, his battle cry is "Ducunt volentem fata, nolentem trahunt."
How to have No Fear and Achieve Peace of Mind?
When was the last time you worried about something? Aren’t you sick and tired of it? Here’s a few real simple ways to have no fear and achieve peace of mind.
No Fear Tip #1:
Some people think fear is not normal. All people have fears. It is one of the emotions programmed into your Life Guidance System.
The question is not if you feel fear. The question is how quickly you can move through or past fear to achieve peace of mind.
No Fear Tip #2:
The lowest emotional level in your Life Guidance System is fear. It works against you to create 99% of what you do not want in your life.
Love and gratitude are the opposite of fear and the highest emotional level in your Life Guidance System. Feelings of love and gratitude can create 100% of what you do want in your life.
No Fear Tip #3:
Before giving in to your fears, look at them statistically. How often does what you fear ever happen?
No Fear Tip #4:
There are reasons for your fear. The latest brain research reveals adults feel and act in accordance to how their brains were programmed during childhood and adolescence. You may find your fears are irrational now.
No Fear Tip #5:
Get out a pen and paper and write down all the times in your life you have been taken care of, watched over or protected. Give thanks for all this guidance, love and protection. Affirm that it will always be this way.
No Fear Tip #6:
Focus on courage in your mind, your prayers and your intentions. Courage moves fear out and helps you create what you do want in your life. Think with courage. Act with courage. Pray with courage. Feel courageous and enjoy the peace of mind that comes.
No Fear Tip #7:
Follow Emerson’s guidance, “Do the things you fear and the death of fear is certain.”
Does having the courage to do what you are afraid of make sense? Should you consider doing it? As you take action, fear could subside.
No Fear Tip #8:
Fear is the seventh most powerful force in the world. Surprised it isn’t number one?
Love and gratitude are the most powerful force, with five other emotions in your Life Guidance System more powerful than fear. You have power available to you which is greater than fear. Focus on the upper six emotions of your Life Guidance System and experience no fear or much less fear.
No Fear Tip #9:
For peace of mind create focus on living from the upper six emotions of your Life Guidance System.
Research has confirmed these emotions create 75% to 100% of what you want in your life. What you focus on with your mind is formed and experienced in your outside world
No Fear Tip #10:
Help other people find the courage overcome their fears and experience peace of mind. When you are not in fear, but standing back rationally helping another with their fears, you will quickly see fears can be unfounded and simple to overcome. In helping another have no fear, it will become easier for you to let go of yours.
So there you have it. Start now and you could have a life filled with peace of mind, courage and no fear.
Source: www.easyarticles.com
About the Author: Learn how to heal abuse, resolve conflict without giving in, have more love and create what you want. Lori Prokop presents workshops nationwide on how to create what you want in your life and manifest your desires. Free Special Report at www.howtohealabuse.com contains your Life Guidance System, shows how past experiences can create what you don’t want in your life and how to overcome the roadblocks to create what you want. Also get 3 Free ($87 value) ebooks at www.lori-prokop.com
Getting Help For A Friend Who Struggles With Fear And Anxiety
By: Stan Popovich
Getting help for a friend who struggles with fear and anxiety can be tricky. He or she may be reluctant to get help or they may be scared. This is the time that your friend needs you the most. With this in mind, here are some suggestions on how a person can help his or her friend with their anxiety.
The first step a person should do is to convince their friend to get professional help. Explain to them that they must decide to get the help they need to overcome their anxiety. Nobody can do it for them. Explain to them that seeing a professional will really help them in the long run and that it is in their best interest to get this help.
Remind them that is hope and there are solutions to their anxiety problems if they seek treatment. There is nothing wrong in asking for help. Try to convince your friend that there are ways to manage your persistent anxieties and fears, however they must make the effort to learn these techniques.
When your friend is struggling, be there for him or her. Be supportive of your friend and try to help him out during his struggles. Dealing with fear and anxiety can be tough so give your friend a break when he struggles with his fears and anxieties.
One technique that you can use is to learn from your fearful and anxious situations. In every stressful situation that you experience, begin to learn what works and what you can do to improve. For instance, you have a lot of anxiety and you decide to take a stroll around your local park. The next time you feel anxious you can remind yourself that you got through it the last time by taking a short walk.
Taking advantage of the help that is available can go a long way in managing your fears and anxieties. When you are with your friend, you need to remind him or her of this fact.
Article Source: http://www.articlecube.com
Stan Popovich is the author of "A Layman's Guide to Managing Fear” an easy to read book that presents a overview of techniques that are effective in managing persistent fears and anxieties. For additional information go to: www.managingfear.com
