The Role of the Life-Coach
The coach’s role is to utilise the skills, techniques and toolkits at their disposal to take the client on a journey of self-discovery by these means:
Establishing a high level of rapport
Rapport has been described as the ability to enter each client’s model of the world so that you can give them the feeling of being totally understood. This is achieved by a combination of physiology, tone of voice and the choice of words.
Working in a climate of trust, honesty and openness
A relationship between coach and client is a partnership and like all partnerships, it needs a climate of trust, honesty and openness in which to operate. If a client does not feel comfortable around these issues, they are not likely to engage fully in the process
Offering constructive feedback
Feedback from the coach is important for the client to know that what they are doing is achieving the desired results. This does need to be constructive though as criticism or obvious flattery will be counter-productive.
Encouraging clients to explore options
This is the part of the session where the client starts to come up with ideas to move towards the goal. Here the coach has to create the mood where the client can feel totally able to let their mind run free and think the unthinkable. It’s important the client is aware that these are still only options, not commitments.
Praising clients achievements
We all respond to praise just as we do to criticism and praise in coaching for what a client has achieved is a very useful tool. Many clients will be operating out of their comfort zone to complete actions and for that alone they deserve praise.
Challenging and taking their clients out of their comfort zone
The comfort zone is so called because it’s a comfortable place to be and our coping mechanisms naturally want us to be in a place of comfort. A coaching client will quite naturally want to stay in this zone too as we don’t go out of it for no reason. The point of coaching is to enable the client to develop and grow and for this they need to be stretched to meet new challenges. The coach must take the client into the stretch zone where appropriate in spite of the resistance they might face.
Acting as a sounding board
Elsewhere in this paper I’ve emphasised the importance of the skill of listening to effective coaching. It’s unusual in today’s world for people to be given the chance to just talk without interruptions and when given that chance people often take advantage and talk. Often, the fact that they are free to talk and voice out load their concerns proves to be a very powerful tool and without advice or guidance from the coach, the client can resolve an issue themselves just by being able to talk about it.
Raising awareness
Raising awareness can apply to both the client and the coach. The coach needs to have a heightened state of awareness to be sensitive to what they’re seeing and hearing in the client. Awareness or more particularly self-awareness in the client will give them a better perception of their motivation and actions.
Helping clients to explore values and beliefs
It’s important that at some point the client appreciates that the journey is equally as important as the goal. Failure to realise can lead to the state that “The end justifies the means”. The client’s actions must be congruent with their values and beliefs to avoid this.
Keeping clients on track
Each coaching session will be bound by the amount of time fixed upon. It is the role of the coach to pace the session and keep the conversation on track to maximise the benefit of each session.
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About the Author:
Andrew Poole was CEO of a Financial Services Company in the UK and is now a qualified Life-Coach. To find out more about Life-Coaching and take the FREE Fine-Tune Your Life test, visit: www.andrewpoole.net
It’s About Time
Ever find yourself wishing you had just a few more hours in the day to get it all done? Between work and family responsibilities alone, it can be challenging to juggle time for everything. Surely we were created for more than a life on a continuous treadmill where we never seem to catch up.
Futurists predicted that, in the 21st century, work would be done in virtual organizations and paperless offices. Some even said that the work week would drop to 35, or even 30 hours, and that too much leisure time could become a problem.
Has that been your experience? It's not what I see happening with the busy professionals I work with everyday. Over the past quarter-century, the number of hours spent working has continued to rise. The constant pressure to reduce costs and to do more with less often leaves employees in an unending cycle of overwork and overwhelm which ultimately leads to decreased productivity and efficiency in the organization. With the extra work and increased pace we strive to keep up with, we are quickly catapulted into a world of stress, exhaustion and even health problems if we don't make our self- care a top priority.
What is the solution? Time management can help. Or rather, more effective use of time can help. When you think about it, you don't really manage time, you manage yourself and how you choose to spend each 24 hour day you are given. By having tools and support available, you can better manage yourself and the choices you make.
Top 5 Tips for Managing Time
1. Stop using time as an excuse. We all have the same 24 hours in a day You choose how you use your 1,440 precious minutes each day. If someone - or something - else is determining how you use your minutes and hours, now may be an excellent time to look at changes you need to make.
2. Find out where you spend your time. It may sound odd to suggest taking time in an already busy schedule to assess how you are using time, but do know where you are spending your time? Try tracking your time for the next week and see just what you are doing with your 24 hours. This exercise will help you identify opportunities for changes to alleviate time pressures.
3. Simplify your life. Clear your schedule of time-consuming activities that are not essential. Over-volunteering, doing other people's work, relationships that are not working... these are a great place to start simplifying and reclaiming valuable time.
4. Be intentional about scheduling. If you want to accomplish a task, you must be intentional about scheduling it. For example, if you want to go to the gym to workout, you must put it on your calendar and plan for time to get there and back as well as for your workout. Insert it into your schedule, and then guard the time carefully to make sure nothing gets in the way of you getting it done.
5. Zap Time Wasters. Time wasted can never be regained. A few examples... browsing the Internet, email, chatting with co-workers, looking for things, and talking on the phone. Zap these time bandits by: scheduling a time to return phone calls and email, getting organized so that time is not wasted looking for tools and papers or using an Internet reminder service to keep track of important dates or events.
"Don't say you don't have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein." ~ H. Jackson Brown
By: Coach Pat Morgan
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Pat Morgan, MBA and Executive Coach, helps clients maximize their potential in today’s fast-paced environment. Her unique coaching programs inspire clients to achieve goals they may never have thought possible. Her focus draws from the inside out – helping clients become the best version of themselves they can be. Get your free copy of my special report, GET RESULTS NOW! when you subscribe to my newsletter, Smooth Sailing Success. Visit www.SmoothSailingSuccess.com
The Secret To Executive Leadership
It is with some trepidation that I am throwing in my two cents about The Secret. For those of you just returning from a two-year sabbatical spent at a silent monastery deep in the Himalayas, The Secret is an enormously popular and mildly controversial book (and video) that asserts that people can attract anything they want by simply thinking positive thoughts. It suggests that the "Law of Attraction," a guaranteed path to success, has been kept secret by the ruling class (corporate executives?) in dark, shadowy caverns (conference rooms?) for centuries. Luminaries from Oprah to Larry King have weighed in on this idea, so I thought, what the heck, I'll take a shot as well.
I'll leave the debate as to the universal veracity of The Secret's claims to philosophers, metaphysicians and theologians. (Although, to declare my bias upfront, my deeply conservative Scandinavian roots tell me that dedication, hard work and sacrifice play no little part in one's success in life and career.) I do, however, feel that I can offer some perspective on the topic through the eyes of an executive leadership coach.
I am blessed with the opportunity to work with those special men and women who sit at the top of our organizations. My typical client would be described by most of us as enormously successful.. He or she earns north of $500k per year, is accumulating substantial personal equity, is devoted to his or her family (forget the absent father/mother stereotype), is passionate about commerce, cares deeply for the people in his or her organization (forget the mercenary stereotype), enjoys the arts and fine dining, travels the world, is in relatively good physical shape, and feels very grateful for his or her lot in life. (They also often wake up in a cold sweat knowing the demons to be faced as they guide this messy thing we call an organization through the ever-menacing minefields of the marketplace.)
Now here's the rub. I have never had an executive tell me that they attracted their success from the cosmos by simply directing positive thoughts and energy to business results. . Quite the contrary. Their stories are replete with the timeless trials and labors of leading organizations. They tell stories of navigating through treacherous waters, galvanizing vastly diverse people together around an idea, constantly changing business process while trying to build a sense of organization stability. Knowing these people and their stories, there is something about the thesis of The Secret which rubs me the wrong way. In a particularly annoying scene of the video, a young boy dreams of a shiny new bicycle, cuts a picture of one from a catalogue, concentrates on the bicycle and, voila, a father-like figure delivers it right to his front door. If only executive leadership was this simple and straightforward. If an executive had only to focus positively on market share to lead a successful product launch; If he or she had only to focus on a completely aligned organization to lead a complex merger! The Secret apparently sees no need for messy words that are the hallmark of these executive's careers. Words like sacrifice, commitment, service, failure, loneliness and perseverance. The "Law of Attraction," is about getting, while true leadership, in my opinion, is about giving. It's about creating not dreaming.
It's not that I do not value the power of positive thinking (thank you Vincent) and an appreciative attitude. In fact, in my recent book Unleashed!, I speak at length on the importance of both self-esteem and appreciating the best in others. As a student of leadership, I have found that great achievements come when leaders find their passions and express them through work. In my experience, there is a law of attraction at work in leadership, but it works differently than the authors of The Secret propose – those leaders who come to work every day, and bring their full authentic selves to bear on everything they undertake (from managing the budgeting process to engaging in conversation with co-workers) attract others with their passion. The "Secret" to their success is that, by living their own greatness, and creating an organization where greatness is expected, they bring out the greatness in others.
By: Gregg Thompson
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Gregg Thompson is President of Bluepoint Leadership Development and author of Unleashed!: Expecting Greatness and Other Secrets of Coaching for Exceptional Performance. He can be reached at greggthompson@bluepointleadership.com
The Root Cause and Permanent Solution for an Alcohol or Drug Problem
How big is the alcohol and drug problem in this country? And most of the standard addiction recovery and addiction treatment programs don’t seem to be working. The problem is HUGE, when you consider the following.
CRIME: 25% of all prison inmates are there for drug related crimes. 16.4% are in prison for committing crimes to get money for drugs. 47% of crimes were committed while a person was on drugs or alcohol.
SEX: A lot of the sex outside of marriage wouldn’t happen if it weren’t for alcohol or drugs being used to try to drown out guilt and fear (which are nature’s feedback to try to stop us from doing something against its perfect order). And nature does other harsh things to try to stop sex outside of marriage. USA Today reported that shockingly, 1/2 of everyone under 25 years old in the United States has had an STD (Sexually Transmitted Disease). The U.S. Dept. of Health reports that there are 1.1 million current cases of AIDS/HIV in the United States. (So obviously, it needs to be recognized that nature is hostile towards sex outside of a monogamous, heterosexual marriage, which is the only sexual setting that nature doesn’t try to stop via harsh consequences). 80 percent of unmarried teen mothers end up on welfare, costing this country $7 billion annually. And a University of Georgia study reports that of those individuals who experienced unwanted sexual intercourse in the last year, 92.1% had been under the influence of alcohol or drugs.
ACCIDENTS: Alcohol is involved in 50% of all driving fatalities. In the United States, every 30 minutes someone is killed in an alcohol or alcoholism related traffic accident. That amounted to 17,488 people last year alone.
MENTAL ILLNESS: Fifty percent of the mentally ill population has a substance abuse problem. In fact, 22 million Americans suffer from substance dependence or abuse due to drugs, alcohol or both, according to the Department of Health and Human Services.
EMOTIONAL HEALTH: The general emotional health of the public is very poor, as is evidenced by the high divorce rate and a teen suicide rate that is higher than the other 26 industrialized nations combined. Other indicators of the general state of the heart of America come from its entertainment industries: the shocking and harsh experiences in the movies, the rampant dysfunction on television, and the high percent of bad feelings (and the big void of good feelings) that come out of the music industry.
Now that’s the bad news. The good news is that there is a solution to all of this. That solution starts with understanding what the basic problem is. The basic problem behind alcohol and drug abuse is that people aren’t finding happiness and fulfillment naturally. So then they attempt to achieve happiness and fulfillment (or escape their unhappiness and emptiness) by using alcohol or drugs. But those band aids usually end up leading to a lot more unhappiness, health problems, financial problems, relationship breakups, legal problems, etc. A lot of hidden damage is done while in a stolen euphoria. But obviously those risks aren’t enough to outweigh the problems in a person’s emotional state or the lacking in their life that cause them to overlook the risks and dangers of alcohol and drug use.
So then, WHY are people so unhappy or unfulfilled that they would make that choice? The answer is simple: they are not operating in harmony with the natural design of their being. It starts with the fact that if a person has his or her natural drives unsatisfied for more than a normal period of time while searching for satisfaction, over time the frustration and lack of hope from this can cause them to become more dulled and depressed and even sleepy and prone to drugs to try to make his or her self feel good and not feel bad.
But, the good news here is that the continual unnaturalness that got them into a bad state can be reversed. And the process that will awaken them, enliven them and make them even feel good and excited about their life is if they first are given hope that there is a real solution for their problems…and then they actually get satisfaction by carrying out that solution.
Teaching a person how to be happy naturally and in harmony with the real design, meaning and purpose of their life is the key to how they get the strength, joy and deep fulfillment that is necessary for them to have no inclination for alcohol or drugs. But, that’s easier said than done, and can only happen within THE natural design of how we were made to be. That means first knowing what that design is. That can be a difficult thing to do in this world because there is a great amount of debate and disagreement as to what that design really is. But ‘the world’ in general obviously has it wrong about something if there exists such a huge drug and alcohol problem and poor social statistics.
Having been in the top echelons of the music business as a former member of Sly & The Family Stone and The Elvin Bishop Group, I know alcohol and drug abuse well. But after experimenting with 22 approaches to lifestyle and personal growth, I became free from alcohol and drugs 24 years ago (after 18 years of use). I finally realized that fighting nature is not a battle that anyone can win and be happy. Therefore why even try? Understanding and flowing with the natural order is how to make inner, outer and social life work at their best. But like I said, that is a task that is easier said than done, given that the mainstream culture in general is not in harmony with the natural order and is tolerant of a lot of dysfunction. Therefore if a person wants to be free from a weakness for alcohol or drugs, they will have to go through a re-orientation of how the mind, heart and body that they are in are designed to function correctly, and they will have to know how to have the strength and vision to transform that design. My Addiction Free Forever program shows how to do all of those things. It can be seen at www.AddictionFreeForever.com.
© 2006 Dennis Marcellino
About the Author: Dennis Marcellino is recognized as an innovator in addiction recovery by some top administrators in the field. His at-home recovery program helps a person to know, understand and be transformed into the natural design of their being. This results in freeing them from drugs and alcohol and puts them into a deeply fulfilling life…with no desire for alcohol or drugs. His new self-help program can be seen at http://www.AddictionFreeForever.com
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What Is Speaking Louder In Your Life, Your Words Or Your Actions?
Everyone knows that to become successful you have to develop the habit of walking your talk but it can be difficult at times to be impartial enough to truly assess whether you are doing this as well as you could be. Here is a strategy to help you overcome this problem.
Most ambitious people are busy people and when you are busy it is easy to allow some things to slip by without you realizing it. You may have intentions of taking some goal directed action today but there are so many demands on your time already that today soon becomes tomorrow.
Unfortunately it often doesn't stop there. Tomorrow is also a busy day and so your goal actions get postponed again and again and before you know it you are well behind on your plans. Once this happens you are well and truly in the group of people whose goal setting words are exceeding their goal achieving actions.
The easiest way to assess this is to look at the last seven days. Now before you tell me that you can't use the last seven days because they were special circumstances let me tell you that every day is a special circumstance and unless you face this reality nothing will change. So let's use the last seven days for this exercise.
Question 1: On how many of those last seven days did you read over your goals?
If you are going to actually achieve your goals then you need to keep the dream alive. One of the best ways to do this is to read over your goals daily, seven days a week, 52 weeks a year.
Question 2: On how many of those last seven days did you put aside at least 10 minutes to visualize yourself already living your goal?
In order to program your subconscious mind you need to visualize yourself as already having achieved your goal and see yourself reaping all of the benefits that come with achieving that goal.
Question 3: On how many of those last seven days did you actually take some action that could reasonably be described as action designed to bring you closer to fully achieving your goal.
If you can't specifically write down what you did and describe how it qualifies as goal directed action then you can't count it. At the end of the day it is your goal directed action that determines whether you get your goal or not so you have to be strict in assessing what goal directed action you are taking.
People who get their goals actually take some goal directed action each and every day without fail and without excuses. If you are having a really busy day that is beyond your control still take some goal directed action no matter how small. Even if your goal directed action that day is so small that the outcome is insignificant what remains significant is that you reinforced the habit of taking goal directed action daily.
In order to break the habit of taking daily goal directed action all you have to do is miss one day. That also means that to keep the habit all you have to do is take some goal directed action today. Don't think about what action you are going to take tomorrow or how long you have to keep taking this daily action just focus on taking some genuine goal directed action today and you are still in the game.
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James Delrojo would like to help you by giving you his ebook "Unleash the Success Power of Your Mind" (valued at $27) completely FREE. Go to www.blog.jamesdelrojo.com
15 'what If's...' To Change My Day
What If...
(1) Everybody in the world smiled at just one more person. That would be 6 billion more smiles each and every day, do you think that would make the world a brighter place?! Now what about another two smiles…
(2) I saved just one pound towards those Christmas presents, holidays, whatever. Each year I would have an extra £365. Now what if I were to save £2…
(3) Aliens attacked the world. Do you think that we all might pull together and forget our differences as in the case of the tsunami? Now what if we do not wait until aliens attack the world…
(4) I thought that whatever project I undertook I could not fail to complete. What sort of projects would I be thinking of? If I really could not fail, wouldn’t I reach for the Heavens?
(5) I watched half an hours less television and gave the attention to the family, exercise, special project or whatever. That would be an extra week per year. Now what if I were to watch one hour less…
(6) I woke up half an hour earlier than normal. If I done this every day, that would be an extra week per year awake. If I earn £200 per week then there is the chance to enjoy a few more little luxuries…
(7) I looked upon my work as a return of service for the gifts that I have received. Would this help me to view my occupation in a different way?
(8) I contemplated my body as something miraculous that no amount of money, any scientist or philosopher can even get near to explaining. Would I take care of it in a different way?
(9) I was to view the world as a spectator rather than someone to whom everything happens. Would I still eel the same intensity about what was going on?
(10) I considered myself extremely privileged to be born a human being, with the opportunities that come because of the special abilities that we have.
(11) I looked upon problems as challenges that I am more than able to meet if I apply myself to them.
(12) I chose to change negative thoughts that enter my head into positive ones that lift my spirits. Would I then be better company?
(13) I knew that the thoughts that circulate in my head, if mixed with emotion, would one day be the physical circumstances that I am faced with. What thoughts would I choose to dwell on?
(14) The old saying that what goes around comes around is true. What would I choose to go with in order to receive back?
(15) I view my emotions and check to see if they are being used to work for my highest good, knowing that I have full control over them.
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About the author – Graham Hodgson is a 46 year old with the majority of his working life spent in the public sector. He is now concentrating on Internet Marketing with several sites, the most recent being a comprehensive availability of downloadable audio books at www.we-r-audiobooks.com.
Prayer Can Be Very Effective In Managing Your Fears
By: Stan Popovich
Prayer can be very effective in managing your fears and anxieties. There are countless numbers of people who have experienced the power of prayer. Here are some reasons on why prayer can be effective in managing your anxieties, fears, and stresses.
Asking God for help is a great way to manage your fears and anxieties. When you pray, you are asking God to help you manage your fears. God is the most powerful person in the universe and he is willing to help you if you ask him. Prayer is the way to do this.
You are tapping into the power of God when you pray. God is stronger than your fears and anxieties and prayer is the connection to the power of God. A simple prayer can do wonders in managing your anxieties. God is the one person who has the power to help you.
When you pray to God, it sometimes takes some time to get your prayers answered. God works in mysterious ways and you do not know how your simple prayer will be answered. There are an endless number of opportunities for prayer to be effective in your life.
Praying works. There are many inspirational magazines and books on how people were helped through the power of prayer. Read some articles to get an idea on how effective prayer can be in your life. Never doubt the power of God. He loves you and he is willing to help you with your problems.
You can pray anywhere you want. You can pray at church or pray when you are at home. It doesn’t matter where you are located. The important thing is that you are sincere in your prayers.
The next time you feel anxious or fearful, say a simple prayer to God. God is listening and he will help you.
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Stan Popovich is the author of "A Layman's Guide to Managing Fear” an easy to read book that presents a overview of techniques that are effective in managing persistent fears and anxieties. For additional information go to: www.managingfear.com
Are You a Habitual Starter?
By: John Halderman
How many things have you started and put aside?
If you can answer, many, you are a 'starter'.
Do you tend to get excited about doing something, start it, then get sidetracked by interest in something new. This can be a project, new career, hobby, business idea, investing idea, whatever, that has been put aside before completion for another.
If you can relate to this, you are also likely quite frustrated with the lack of money, satisfaction and happiness in your life. What's the problem? You try so hard; you are always doing something yet no results.
Here is what is going on with the vicious cycle you are in.
You don't have an overall direction in life to serve as a beacon to keep you on track.
You have not set specific goals, targets or a path to serve as benchmarks in your progress.
You are not managing your time well or sticking to appropriate tasks.
Bouncing from one thing to another shows you are not fully committed to a big picture.
You are not benefiting emotionally from the accomplishment of anything.
Your confidence is likely not what it could be.
Your frustration level is damaging to your energy and motivation.
There must be a, yea but, in the back of your mind when you choose to do things.
Now a picture of what a success cycle looks like.
The fact that you are bouncing from interest to interest reveals that you are not aware of your purpose. Discovering your purpose in life gives you a solid foundation as to what you should be doing. You then can determine specifically what to do to fulfill the purpose. Your purpose is what you are here to do to serve the world, and your work is something that supports that.
Seeing and feeling your purpose will reveal a deep intent and a strong motivation. You will feel more like you are on a mission. This is what will help you keep focused and on task. You will have power to take command of your thinking, directing your thoughts and actions towards what supports your mission.
The, 'yea but' I mentioned above comes from your inner self trying to speak of what you really should be doing as you are doing other different things. Without consciously knowing it you will not give your all to one thing while your inner self is yearning for something else. All the things you are doing are just attempts to satisfy you ego thinking. You may think they
When you determine what you will do to accomplish fulfilling your purpose, you then need to set up the steps that will lead you to where you are fully engaged with your intent to support your purpose. You don't need to know exactly what each step is at the beginning, just enough to get going will do. You will discover more as you proceed in the right direction.
Accomplishing specific goals or targets along the way will give your confidence and motivation a boost. This is important in order to keep your energy and interest up at a high level. Continued accomplishment helps keep you motivated and willing to do what is necessary.
Daily planning and refocusing on the specific tasks to be accomplished each day is important. You must have a plan each day as well as the self-discipline to stick to it. It is so easy to get distracted with things that do not directly support your goal. You can actually be busy all day and not accomplish anything that you had set out to. Time management is critical to your satisfaction and progress. There is not time to do everything you can think of in a day, you must learn to be selective in support of your immediate goal.
This is reinforced with daily reminders of your purpose, intent and goals. Then set up a routine to plan your daily activities every day and be determined to stay on course.
Even if supporting your purpose includes several things, realize you can't do everything at once. One thing accomplished is more motivation that three things half-done. Determine in what order the projects must be done in and focus your attention on what is important now.
Your personal development is your responsibility, take control of your scattered thinking and find the key to focused attention. Happiness and satisfaction come through purposeful accomplishment.
Article Source: http://www.articlesnatch.com
John Halderman, writes and speaks with intent on helping you get effective results with your personal growth. For self-improvement tools, tips and resources for living a satisfying life get the "Effective Personal Development Newsletter" and a bonus report www.activepersonaldevelopment.com
7 Tips to help you to Organize Your Life
By: Paul Winter
1. Find time to have fun. Always remember that it is important to find time for yourself. Make some engagements for yourself and make the most out of them. You have to cherish the free schedules that you have allotted for yourself. You can go out with your family and enjoy every moment spent with them.
2. Do not think too much of things that you think are difficult to accomplish. Make yourself relax and set your mind in a comfortable mood. You might be pressured and stressed if you think a lot of the hard items rather than thinking of finishing them. You can start doing the hard items first on your list. The other tasks will then follow much easier than the first one.
3. You can make notes to set an organized time. You may always bring with you your notebook and pen so that you can take down the important ideas or engagements that may pass in your mind. These can help you remember the things you may want to do, instead of realizing it later or you may even forget it along the way.
4. Do things once. An item must be handled only once. You can read the file and you may review it again to someone else. It is important that you understand the file so that you do not have to get back on it again. If you are done, there is no need to include it anymore in the many piles of papers that are on your table.
5. Telephone calls may just consume time if there are unnecessary things that are being brought up in your conversation. You may limit the time by directly pointing out the issues that are to be discussed.
6. Be systematic. Most of the time, you use so much of your time finding a particular thing. Sometimes you tend to forget the other things that you need to accomplish for that day because your time was focused on searching for things. You may create a system that is applicable and effective in your daily tasks. Use it for your own good; you may just realize that there are more times that you can have a rest.
7. Do things that make you happy and feel life’s most precious times. Enjoy walking around in your garden with your kids. You may go to the mall and watch a movie, or you may even play your favorite sport. It is important in one’s life to allot some time for yourself. Think of it as a prize to the pressures and stress you get from work.
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About the Author:
Visit ArticlesRus.Net For more tips on organising your home and office.
Meditations: Developing Your Weekly Meditation Plan
Meditating without a clear plan or purpose is like going on a safari trip with out a map. You will get lost very quickly and you will not achieve what you setout to achieve. A meditation plan should simply set out how you want to plan your meditation for the week and what you want to focus on during that week but be advised there are few elements you will want to consider.
Meditation is a fantastic tool in helping you address issues within your life and the role of the meditation plan is to help you set down how you are going to plan your week of meditation, what meditation types you will use for the week to get the outcome you are looking for. For example, the majority of people simply use meditation for relaxation which is absolutely fine but if you want to overcome what is causing the stress then your meditation needs to address the root cause of the stress.
Let us say that your stress is being caused by somebody who is being obnoxious and rude to you at work. The clear objective of your meditation must be for you to develop strategy on how to deal with this person because you cannot physically change the other person you can only work on yourself.
The first thing that you must do is to read, that is go to the library and look up as many books as you can on "Dealing with Rude and Obnoxious people". Read the strategies that they recommend. Check out videos by professional psychologists or television professional like Dr Phil and watch what they recommend in dealing with this sort of person. Work out how you believe the best way is to deal with them and that is what you are going to meditate on.
Now to develop your weekly meditation plan …
We should always start off with our Weekly Meditation Plan on a Sunday. I also recommend meditating twice a day, 20 minutes in the morning and at least 20 minutes in the night, preferably 40 minutes. Our meditation plan runs from Sunday to Saturday.
Your Sunday morning meditation session should simply be for the purpose of relaxing. The meditation session should include meditation techniques such as the Stillness Meditation Type, Deep-Breathing Meditation or Numbers Meditation. The session should take no more than 20 minutes and could include meditation music to help you with your meditation.
Your Sunday afternoon meditation session is the start of your reflective meditation sessions on helping to deal with the person who is rude and obnoxious. The first 5 to 10 minutes should be spent on clearing your mind and working to get calm. The next ten minutes should encompass reflecting on the material you have read. You should also reflect in that time on how you have reacted to that person. Literally in your minds eye, look at yourself and the other person, look at how you deal with them, how you expect them to act, try and reflect on using the techniques you learned and how the other person reacted when you used those techniques.
To finish off your Sunday afternoon meditation session spend five minutes relaxing before finishing your meditation session and clear your mind. Do not get caught into stressing out on what might happen in the following day. Expect the Sunday afternoon meditation session to last up to 40 minutes. If you find that you cannot meditate that long, then do not force yourself but do try to encapsulate all the material covered.
During the week your morning meditation sessions are about preparing you for the day. The key issue here is to not work yourself up before you get to work. The morning meditation sessions should be 20 minutes in length and should focus primarily on stress relief and preparing for a calm day. Towards the end of the meditation session take a moment to simply reflect on the key points on how to handle a rude and obnoxious person, by simply bringing the key points to the front of your mind. This is simply a refresher session.
Your afternoon sessions are going to be a very important wind down session from the day's challenges. This session will give you an opportunity to deal with anything that may have happened during the day. The first 5 to 10 minutes should be to focus on relieving any stress or anxiety that has built up during the day. Then once you have done that part of the meditation it is time to review the day. During your day, how did you cope, how did you deal with the person who is rude and obnoxious, did you over react, what caused you to over act and so forth. Then once you have identified those issues, reflective meditate on those issues for example, how you could have dealt with those issues better, what you would have preferred your reactions to be etc. To finish this part of the meditation off, simply reflect in your mind the bullet points on how you want to react and deal with this person in the future.
Before completing this session each night make sure that you do five minutes of meditation on de-stressing and bringing the mind to focus.
Friday nights is important nights for meditating as you need to use relaxation meditation that night so that the stress from the week before does not ruin your weekend. You will need to do a minimum of 40 minutes of meditation if you have had a difficult week. This whole time should be spent undertaking relaxation meditation.
Saturday morning meditation sessions should be used to review the whole week and to reflect on how you have grown during the week. To review how you dealt with issues at the start of the week compared to the end of the week. Whether you actually moved forward and addressed some of the issues related to the person being rude. This is also a good time to look and decide if during your reflective meditation if there is any issues you need to research that may help you deal with this person.
On Saturday evenings, I like to recommend to people to take time out from meditating and to go out and enjoy themselves. During the week you have grown and now its time to simply take a break.
By developing a meditation plan like I outlined above, you are working towards the resolution of an issue and training your mind to deal with certain types of people more effectively. Meditation planning does not need to be hugely in depth, but having a clear plan on how to meditate will mean that your meditation sessions have more purpose and will help you in achieving the objective you wish. Whilst this meditation plan looked at dealing with an obnoxious person, it could be used to for any purpose you require.
About the Author: If you are interested in reading the Think and Grow Rich book by Napoleon Hill and learning the thirteen secrets to success, it is available at our website as a PDF as well as an MP3 Audio version. The best type of Meditation Music is Baroque Music played at 60 beats per minute and this music is also available at our website.
Source: www.easyarticles.com
The Language Of Confidence
By: Jason E Johns
The language we use programs our brains. Mastering our language gives us a great degree of mastery over our lives and our destinies. It is important to use language in the best way possible in order to dramatically improve your quality of life.
Even the smallest of words can have the deepest effect on our sub-conscious mind. It is like a child, it doesn’t really understand the difference between what really happens and what you imagine. It is eager to please and willing to carry out any commands that you give it – whether you do this knowingly or not is entirely up to you.
“Try”
It is a small word yet it has an amazing impact upon us. If someone says, “I’ll try to do that” you know that they are not going to be putting their whole heart in to it, and may not even do it at all. How often do you use the word try when talking about the things that matter to you? Do you say “I’ll try to be more confident” or “I’ll try to do that” or “I’ll try to call”?
Think about something that you would like to achieve, and say it to yourself in two different ways. Firstly say, “I’ll try to …” and notice how you feel. Next say “I will do …” and see how you feel.
The latter made you feel better than the first one didn’t it? It gives you a sense of determination; a feeling that it will be done. Listen to the people around you and when they say they will try notice if it gets done or not. Eliminate the word try from your dictionary and see how your life improves.
“Can’t”
This is another small word with big impact. It dis-empowers us, makes us feel week and helpless, and damages our self-esteem. It limits our infinite abilities and stifles creativity. Rub it out from your internal dictionary and replace it with something that makes you feel great.
Instead of saying you can’t, why not say something like “I choose …” or “I choose not to …”. Using words like this allows you to take back your power and to be in control of your life.
Words may appear small and insignificant, yet they can have a deep and lasting effect on us. Mastering your language gives you the power to live whatever life you desire.
What words do you use a lot that dis-empower you? Make a list of words you commonly use and then write next to them some alternatives you can use. Make these alternatives words that make you feel fabulous, not only about yourself, but about life and what you are doing!
Create the confident life you desire through the Self Confidence Audio Program
Article Source: http://www.articlecube.com
Jason E. Johns is a personal success coach specializing in helping you to achieve your dreams through an innovative and compassionate approach. Discover how you can life your dream life at his self confidence website, www.UnlimitedConfidence.com Article Submission done by: www.articles-submit.com
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How to Coach Yourself to Success
By: James Delrojo
Even if you have a coach or mentor helping you achieve success you still have to coach yourself as well. Coaching yourself can be difficult because it is much harder to stand outside yourself and look on impartially, than it is to coach another person.
Here is a simple technique that can help you get around that difficulty.
The technique has two parts. First imagine that you are coaching someone else. Second ask yourself if what you are doing is setting a good example to that imaginary other person.
Let's look at those two parts in more detail.
It is important to do the first part of the process on paper.
Give your imaginary person a name.
Then under their name write down some details about that person. Make sure that you are actually writing your details but from the point of view of them being the details of the imaginary person.
Include age, goals, past attempts at success, current strategy being used to achieve the goal, personality, strengths and weaknesses. It helps to ask someone who knows you well about your personality, strengths and weaknesses and write down what they say.
If you find yourself arguing with them over what you strengths and weaknesses are then make sure you write down "argues for his own limitations" and "unwillingness to honestly assess himself" under the weaknesses.
Once you have done this imagine that this person you are coaching is a very dear friend of yours and you want to help them as much as you possibly can.
Now write a nice long letter to this person advising them the best way to go about being successful. Work only from the information on the page. During this part of the strategy it is important to totally forget that the description on the page is in any way a description of you.
The second part of the strategy involves assessing what you are doing and asking yourself if you are setting a good example to the imaginary person.
You might think that this all sounds a bit foolish but believe me it is totally in line with the way your subconscious mind operates and if you just give it a try then you will find that you will enjoy good results.
Now you need to develop the habit of observing yourself and the things that you are doing. Look at the goals you have set and the actions that you are taking or not taking.
When you notice that you are not taking goal directed action then, rather than judging that as good or bad simply ask yourself if that behavior is setting a good example or a bad example to the person that you are coaching.
Each morning when you first awake, or while you are taking your morning shower, ask yourself what you could do today to set the best example.
Before you go to bed at night review your day and ask yourself what sort of examples you have been setting and if there was anything that you could have done differently in order to set a better example.
Regardless of whether you think this strategy is great or crazy I challenge you to give it a try. I think you will be pleased with the results that you get.
Article Source: http://www.articlesnatch.com
About the Author:
James Delrojo would like to help you by giving you his ebook "Unleash the Success Power of Your Mind" (valued at $27) completely FREE. Go to www.YourSuccessMind.com
Procrastination- 4 Essentials to Break Through
"I have learned that most regrets come from the things I DIDN’T do. I have learned that regret lasts forever." Simply Brilliant
Procrastination- putting off what you can do today until tomorrow. 7 years, 5 months, and 2 days later you’re wondering why you never started that book. It would have been completed. You could be reaping the rewards and writing full time. You see yourself sitting on the garden patio of your dream home surrounded by towering palms and luxurious flowers. As the ocean breeze glides across your face the telephone rings. You made the Best Seller List. In regret the vision is bright. In procrastination it’s doom and gloom.
Back in the present you may be saying, ”There’s too much competition. No one will publish my book”. What if you flip flop the picture so you are pulled towards the intense vision you had in regret like it was a magnet. Why not create that vision sooner rather than later. Procrastination leads to stress, poor health, and regrets that last for life. Action results in fulfillment, life experience, and wisdom. Get the 4 steps to break through procrastination below.
Step 1-
What are you procrastinating on? Is it appropriate to hold off or irrational postponement? Will this make a positive impact in your life? Choose the area that you will stop procrastinating and make a renewed commitment.
Step 2-
Discover the source to find the solution. Consider when your car doesn’t start. You look for the source of the problem. When you find the source it is easy to take action to make the repair. Look behind procrastination to find what is restraining you. It may be an unpleasant task, lack of interest, someone else’s goal, a large overwhelming project, fear, poor time management, or indecision. Be brutally honest and get to the source.
Step 3-
Based on the source; decide if this is a goal you want to keep. If so, choose a strategy that feels good to you. It may mean developing new habits. Discover the source and set up the strategy in a way that you know you will take action. Here are some possible sources and solutions to get your ideas flowing:
An Unpleasant Task/ Lack of Interest-
Schedule it at the beginning of the day so it is not hanging over your head all day long. Think of how great you will feel to have it done. Reward yourself when you follow through.
Someone Else’s Goal-
Set a boundary...say no or accept only the part of the job that you feel good about. If you can not say no (ex. employment situation) then you may choose to follow the above solution.
A Large Overwhelming Project-
Break the project into small manageable tasks. What part can you do? What can you delegate? What is the first step? What daily steps can you take? A great solution for decluttering!
Lack of Focus Due to Multiple Projects-
Prioritize the projects then break them down into small manageable tasks as in the step above. Focus on completion of one project at a time.
Fear- What is the fear telling you? Is it valid or an irrational assumption? Usually what we anticipate doesn’t occur. Picture the ideal end result. Affirmations and visualization can help. Focus on how great you will feel simply for having the courage to try. As Eleanor Roosevelt says, “you gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face. Your must do the thing which you think you cannot do.”
Poor Time Management-
Schedule a block of time daily or weekly to work only on this project. Keep the appointments. Begin with small blocks of time (whatever you can commit) until you are consistently keeping the appointments. Then consider committing more time.
Indecision-
When you don’t know what to do set a deadline to make up your mind. Then get whatever support and information you need to be able to make an educated decision.
Step 4- Hold an intense vision-
Think of that clear, exciting picture that shows up in regret. Allow that to pull you towards it. You have great capabilities when you take action, even if it’s learning in action. Focus on how great you will feel when you go for it! After all, it is through the journey that the great and memorable moments take place.
What project will you stop procrastinating on?
The first action I will take by _____ (date) is __________________________________(action). Starting Now! Copyright 2006, Beth A. Tabak, All rights reserved.
Source: www.easyarticles.com
About the Author: Beth Tabak of www.StartingNowCoaching.com is a Business & Life Coach, speaker, columnist, & owner of Starting Now. She coaches big thinkers to move beyond limits, stand out in the crowd, and experience the vastness of their capabilities. Stop by to see all that’s available to you and say "hello".
Personal Strategic Planning Can Make This Your Best Year Ever!
Regardless of a person’s background, location, status and area of work focus, top New Year’s resolutions often center on self improvement, personal growth and personal development. To help achieve these goals, success guidelines like the following ones from self improvement coaches, can be powerful tools in the strategic goal-planning process.
Create a Blueprint
Begin by making a formal blueprint of your strategy and planning in a notebook. You want to have sections for:
- Brainstorming
- Researching and noting your ideas
- Basic outlining and planning.
Next brainstorm and jot down some basic ideas for your personal self improvement, personal growth and personal development goals. Refer to any notes and ideas you have all around from the past 12 months and gather them all together in one place, in your new notebook.
Then research your basic areas of focus to fine-tune them, turning them into solid, concrete goals. For help, gather information from the public library and online websites with helpful articles, ebooks, reports, tips and other information. For example, if increasing your income is a goal, research the best ways to do that with what knowledge, skills and tools you already have.
Advance your pace by learning from others who’ve already ‘been there, done that’ like industry and self improvement mentors and coaches, who can help you quickly skip over what won’t work and focus on proven tactics and techniques to reach your own personal goals. They often have basic outlines and strategic planning all packaged together for you.
Basics: Snapshot of the Past, Present & Future
In case you don’t have the help from a mentor or coach, or to enhance what you may already have, begin your outline and planning with a brief overview of your past to see what worked best for you and what didn’t with regards to your new self improvement and other goals.
By planning ahead, you can learn how to overcome past difficulties with renewed help and hope in the success of your future planning strategy.
Then outline a basic plan on how to achieve your desired goals. Refer to your research to set reachable goals. And map out what you want to accomplish each step of the way; for example, how much you want to earn each month.
And finally, set up a monitoring and tracking system and check in regularly for a progress report. See what’s been working and what hasn’t, and revise your strategy to move on and conquer. Don’t be ashamed to get help, too.
Divide and Conquer
Be proactive and have a positive attitude with your self improvement planning. Listen to motivational and inspirational audio recordings each day, read inspiring articles, books and ebooks. Seek help from others: coaches, mentors, online forums, the Small Business Administration and other helpful resources available through your public library.
The bottom line in your self improvement planning is never give up.
Divide and conquer each and every challenging issue that comes up so that you do reach your goals – truly achieve them!
Empowering A Better You!
Source: www.easyarticles.com
About the Author: By: Jeff Steffens at http://psp.SelfHelpResources.net and recommended by: http://MovingAheadCommunications.com
Get Organized Secrets
By: Nishanth Reddy
1. Tell yourself that no matter what, some level of clutter with a child is going to happen.
2. Begin with messes and clutter that you see every day. Get organize your kitchen, garage, and family room before your hallway closet.
3. Use drawer dividers for socks, underwear, lingerie, and tiny items, to keep them separated and organized.
4. Use this same principle to organize your silverware, with clearly defined places for every fork and knife, or drawers for ties and socks or, underwear. Think in this same way for every aspect of your home. This will save many hours of searching for things. It will dramatically cut down on the clutter of items left out "for now" or "until I find a place for it." Develop a new mantra: everything has its place and a place for everything!
5. Allocate everything in your house a place. This way your family will know exactly where to find it and where to put it away, when they searches for something they need.
6. Keep items that are used frequently in places where you can reach them without stooping or bending, and store them close to the place they will be needed.
7. Establish one defined place in your house for storing library books, and end a house-wide hunt when it is time to read or return them.
8. Hang hooks for your keys and purse at the entry to your home, so each time you walk in, you can hang them up.
9. Get rid of all junk drawers, or allow yourself just one that you clear out once a week or more. When you establish certain items are being used repeatedly, designate a drawer for those.
10. Enlist a new rule: throw out one old thing for every new purchase that enters your home.
11. Make a mental note to observe what things pile up in your house and where they cluster, and then come up with a place nearby that becomes the official home where those things will reside. For this purpose baskets, shelves, and folders will work well. Set aside one basket for you and your partner for incoming mail, bills, and receipts and letters.
12. Never go up or down empty-handed when using stairs. Always grab some items that belong to upstairs rooms and quickly put it away while you are there.
13. Create a number of brightly marked folders for discount coupons, invitations and directions, and other time-sensitive papers that just clutter your counters.
14. Things you don’t need any longer:
• Expired medications.
• Clothes you no longer wear.
• Extra paper or plastic grocery bags.
• Makeup and samples you have never worn.
• Sunscreen that's expired or more than one year old.
• Organize your coupons and throw out all that have expired.
• Cookbooks you rarely use. Cut out your favorite recipes only.
• Magazines you meant to read but have never taken the time for.
• Stuff your crumpled plastic bags from your grocer inside a cardboard roll like a hand towel roll. Keep under your sink.
You will free your mind to remember your daily chores by getting rid of your clutter and organizing your home top to bottom. Be vigilant about cleaning about once a month and you will find it much easier to keep up, week-by-week.
Article Source: http://www.articlesnatch.com
About the Author:
Nishanth Reddy is an author and publisher of popular self help blog. Visit his blog for more information on Self help, self-improvement and personal growth. Get Organized Blog
How To Manage People Who Want A Little Of Your Time?
By: Shafir Ahmad
Do you have to deal with people who just love to waste your time? They will creep up on you and talk nonstop for hours on a trivial subject, or maybe they just want to gossip.
I used to get a lot of these, until I said enough is enough, and I actually went and got a sign made which I hung over my cubicle. Want to know what it said? It was quite simple. All it said was "If you have nothing to do, Please don't do it here". Alas, that became a talking point too, and I had to start explaining what was the meaning of that sign itself, ie the fact that you cannot do the "nothing" over at my cubicle seemed to tickle them rather than to make them go away. Most of the time, it really seems like they had nothing to do.
Be careful when someone says that they want to talk to you for a little while. That little while usually turns out to be about a quarter to half an hour, and may even stretch long beyond that. So the next time someone asks for a little while of your time, ask them how long it is going to take, and when they give you an answer to that question, you look up your calendar/planner and tell them that you are busy right now, but that you have an open slot in your schedule at such and such a time for that few minutes that they have said they need to talk with you.
This will immediately reduce your exposure to these time wasters, as many people will not have the patience to wait for an appointment, and they can usually resolve whatever it is that they had to consult you by either solving it themselves, or by talking with someone else. So long as they get their issue resolved, they will not find the need to disturb you again.
The other effect of actually setting up an appointment to discuss things, even be it just 5 minutes of your time, lets people know that you take your time seriously, and that they should not waste it. Since you have scheduled a time period to them, they will have to focus on getting their point acros, without rambling on and making idle talk instead. And since they have some time to clearly think about what they are going to talk with you about, this gives them a laser focus and makes them able to formulate their questions to you in a better way.
The key thing is not to allow others to rob you of your time. Dan Kennedy in his book "No B.S. Time Management for Entrepreneurs", calls these people Time Vampires, because they literally suck the time out of you and your schedule.
So don't give in to people who just want you for a "little while". If it is really important, they will have to be content with speaking to you about it at a later time.
Article Source: http://www.articlesnatch.com
About the Author:
Shafir Ahmad is the author of The Experts Guide to Managing Your Time. 95% of the general population aimlessly wastes their time. Don't waste yours! Get your 7 Part eCourse on Secrets To Better Time Management at www.PlanYourTimeNow.com
Meditations: Creating Your Meditation Strategy
Meditating without a plan is like going on a holiday with no idea where you are going or what you are going to do. All that will happen is that you will get lost and will not end up achieving anything. If you do meditate without having a clear strategy in place, you will find over a period of time that your interest in meditating will wane and you will simply stop meditating. However, if you develop a strategy for what you want out of your meditation, then you have a goal and this means that you are more likely to stick with your meditation sessions till you achieve your goal.
There are many reasons why you may want to meditate. The most common reason that I see people in western society want to meditate is to deal with stress and overwork. So, if you were developing a meditation strategy to deal with this issue, your strategy should be something like this -
1. Learn to meditate to bring yourself to a point of calm
2. Meditate to overcome the stress
3. Meditate to overcome the element that is causing the stress.
What you can see in this basic meditation strategy above is that, meditating to become calm and stress-free is only half the battle. If you are stressed your meditation strategy should include meditating on a way to deal with the root cause of your stress. For example, if a person at work is being abusive to you everyday as well as being rude, your meditation strategy should include meditating on ways of dealing with a person who is rude. Keep in mind that to achieve this objective it may take you many months of meditation before you can overcome this issue.
Meditation when done over a period of time and effectively is a really cool tool as it allows you to develop in your mind away that allows you to cope with any situation that you desire. For example, if a person is being rude to you, you can use reflective meditation to develop strategies on how to deal with a rude person. To achieve this, I would first read a range of different books on how to deal with difficult people and you can easily get books like that from Amazon.com or Dymocks (if you are from Australia).
From the material I read in the books, I would then identify a strategy for dealing with this difficult person and then use reflective meditation to actually work through the techniques in the books in your mind, using the reflective and learning technique to deal with them. Essentially what you are trying to do is to use scenario based meditation. The cool part about this type of meditation is that your mind is open and it allows you to try different ways of dealing with various situations and the seeing whether those techniques will help you in those situations.
The other reason we use meditation to learn this type of material is so that it ingrains the material into our mind and remind us or prompts us on how to deal with a difficult person when it occurs rather than simply going into panic mode and then getting defensive and shutting our mind down. Our minds are far more powerful than we consciously realize and the more we train our minds, the more powerful they become.
The bottom line is this, if your only reason to meditate is to simply relax and release stress then you are only addressing half of the issue. To truly achieve a difference in your life, you must meditate to address what is causing the stress. If you are meditating to help address an issue, make sure you develop a meditation plan as I described above so that you have a clear outcome for your meditation session.
Just like in business and life goals, having a long term meditation plan will help ensure that you maintain your focus when you meditate and that you have a reason to be meditating.
Ultimately, meditation is about helping you become a better person and to learn the path to enlightenment.
Source: www.easyarticles.com
About the Author: Meditation is a great way to enhance your mind and become successful. You can use meditation to Think and Grow Rich and we have a book and audio files by Napoleon Hill that teaches you 13 secrets to becoming successful. To help you meditate on this material why not try out our High Performance Super Learning Meditation Music from our websiteCoping With Anger
The wild tempest that rages within us when we are furiously angry has been a focus for much of Western civilization’s great literature. In his plays, William Shakespeare immortalized the lengths to which extreme anger can devastate relationships.
King Lear exiles his most beloved daughter from his kingdom and his heart when she angers him. “We have no such daughter, nor shall ever see that face of hers again,” he rages. “Thererfore be gone/Without our grace, our love, our benison.” (King Lear, Act 1, Scene 1.) But Lear learns, after it is too late, that she is the one daughter who truly loves him.
In Othello, the insane Iago poisons Othello’s heart with lies about his beautiful wife, Desdemona. The Moore is driven into the blackest of rages over Iago’s tales of infidelity and kills her in a fit of anger. He learns of her innocence after it is too late, and, like Lear, he dies a tragic death.
We all have felt the hot flashes of anger, although, perhaps, not on such an epic scale as Shakespeare depicted. However, even though you might not be driven to radical lengths, the ability to control your temper, whether or not your anger is justified, remains crucial to both your personal and professional life.
When you are angry, you should first examine why you are angry. Be specific in describing to yourself the cause of your anger. Then try to see the situation from a different point of view. We can become so wrapped up in our own feelings and difficulties that we forget that, for the most part, people are truly trying to do the best they can. They aren’t out to get us.
When we are angry with others, we are often being unfair to them. Our anger usually arises out of a misunderstanding or an unrealistic expectation. What seems like infuriating behavior is more often just the other person’s effort to keep his or her balance.
When you’re angry you should ask yourself, “Am I jumping to false conclusions? Do I have unrealistic expectations?” It also helps if you try to see things from the other person’s point of view, and avoid believing you know how he or she ought to be acting. For example, suppose a man is furious with a boy in his neighborhood who hits his new car with a rock, but his attitude toward the boy changes when he learns the boy’s sister is dying.
If you decide your anger is justified but that it is not an appropriate time to engage in an all-out confrontation, you need to control your anger. One strategy to stem the rising tide of anger involves becoming more aware of how your body reacts as you grow irate. Through various relaxation techniques, you can learn to bring the physical effects of anger under immediate control.
It’s important to pay attention to how your posture changes when you are angry. For example, as you struggle to keep your composure, you might find yourself tightly gripping the telephone receiver, or clutching the steering wheel of your car in traffic. The jaws are also a target for stress.
When you’re angry, you will most likely find yourself tensely clenching your teeth. Realizing that these are common reactions and that they are not helping you calm down is a big first step in coping with your anger. Now you should take additional steps to do something about it.
I always recommend to my clients and people who attend my seminars to use progressive relaxation exercises. These exercises help you center; they teach you to be aware of your body’s reactions when you’re angry and to assert some control over them. In progressive relaxation exercises, you alternately tense your muscles and relax them. You can start at your feet and work your way up to your head, or you can focus on a particular tense area.
Here are some other techniques to help you cope with anger:
• Take deep breaths. Like the progressive relaxation exercise, deep breathing encourages you to relax and normalize your body’s reaction to anger.
• Take notes. This can help you reflect on what the person who angered you has said. The very act of writing will force you to take some time before you respond and will help you obtain a more objective point of view.
• Close your eyes and use positive visualization. Closing your eyes gives you time to relax and shut out the world. Couple this with positive visualization, a technique where, for example, you picture yourself speaking calmly and objectively with the person you are angry with until you reach a satisfactory resolution of the problem, and your results are very effective.
• Use the hold button on the telephone. If you are on the telephone and find yourself growing angrier by the minute, don’t be afraid to use the hold feature on your telephone. Be polite, of course, and don’t get off the telephone too abruptly or keep the person holding for too long. Make sure you take the time to calm down so that you don’t end up saying something you’ll regret later.
• Lower your tone of voice. When people are angry, their voices tend to get louder. Be aware of this, and consciously turn down your volume. When you are shouting, nobody is listening, and you are only exacerbating an already tense situation.
Anger can be a frighteningly overwhelming emotion. Whether your anger comes on like a sudden storm or simmers slowly, you must learn how and when to express your anger. It is healthy for us to acknowledge that we are hurt or threatened or frustrated, but we must make sure that our expression of anger is appropriate. Otherwise, we could end up with a fate as tragic as that of a character in a Shakespearean drama.
Source: www.easyarticles.com
About the Author: Joe Love draws on his 25 years of experience helping both individuals and companies build their businesses, increase profits, and achieve total success. He is the founder and CEO of JLM & Associates, a consulting and training organization, specializing in personal and business development. Through his anger management seminars and other lectures, Joe Love addresses thousands of men and women each year, including the executives and staffs of many businesses around the world, on the subjects of leadership, achievement, goals, career coach training, and marketing. Joe is the author of three books, Starting Your Own Business, Finding Your Purpose In Life, and The Guerrilla Marketing Workbook.
Ten useful Tips to Improve Your Self-Confidence
Self-confidence is an important key to success in any walk of life. People with self-confidence are noticed more. They achieve their goals relatively easily. In contrast, people who lack self-confidence often end up being losers. You too need to build your self-confidence if you want to do well in life. Here are ten tips that can help you build that elusive self-confidence:
1. Self-confidence is found in people who have a healthy self-esteem. They know their personal worth, and act accordingly. A good way to improve your personal worth is to make a list of your accomplishments every day. You will be surprised to know how many positive acts you perform every day in life, but which you don’t notice. Once you start looking at this list, your self-confidence will boom.
2. Be clear about your goals. If need be, break your goals into smaller, more manageable tasks. Pat yourself every time you achieve a minor goal. It will boost you’re a self-confidence, and help you achieve bigger goals.
3. Find a mentor who can help you reach your goal. Most people, who have done well in life, have a mentor who has traveled the same road on which they are traveling today. Meet your mentor regularly, and seek his advice and support as a routine. You will find that you are learning something valuable every day.
4. Socialize with people who are positive and supportive, who like and respect you. Give them the same support and respect that they give you. Avoid people who are negative and critical of you. Such people erode your self-confidence. They make you look at your negative self, and not your positive self. After some time, you get enveloped in their cynical and negative world-view. Nothing can be more damaging than that. Dump such friends as soon as you can.
5. Pay attention to how you look. Take pleasure in wearing good clothes and being well groomed. It makes you feel good. People too look at you differently. Remember that every human being wants to be found in the company of smart, intelligent, successful people. You can soon be a centre of attraction if you radiate a positive, smart look. It can very easily make the difference between success and failure.
6. Don’t be afraid of failures. Take them in your stride and move on. Say to yourself that you will succeed the next time. Never make the mistake of allowing your failures to overwhelm you. They will force you into a shell, and destroy your self-confidence. A better way is to shrug your failures as something inconsequential, and take on a new challenge. Of course, you must learn from your mistakes, and be realistic about your abilities. People who try to over-reach often fall down. You should not allow that to happen in the name of self-confidence.
7. Keep yourself fit by exercising regularly and controlling your diet. A fit and healthy person is much more active and achieves more in his career. Physical fitness, like self-confidence, glows on your face.
8. Have a wide range of interests, and take an active interest in what’s going on in the world. Meet and talk to a lot of people. Don’t focus all your attention only on your work and on your problems. Divert your attention to new interests, and new tasks. This will keep your mind happily occupied, and boost your self-confidence.
9. Take part in activities that you are good at. You may have excelled at things in the past and then given them up due to lack of time. Return to those activities again and see your self-confidence grow.
10. Pick up a new hobby or craft that interests you. It will keep you occupied. It will also increase your self-confidence as you become more skilled in it.
Try to practice these tips as faithfully as you can, and see the difference in your life.
Source: www.easyarticles.com
About the Author: Thomas Bekkar helps people getting more self confidence and enjoy a better, happier, and more fulfilling life. Claim you free gifts by visiting his blog and subscribe to his newsletter at http://improve-confidence.blogspot.com